Life Out Here

Lincoln

2012-02-13T03:02:00.008-05:00

All day yesterday I kept thinking about Abraham Lincoln. It was his birthday of course, and for everyone as old as I that date is strongly implanted in our brains because it used to be a holiday. There was no "February break" in those days, but we had two days off: February 12th was Lincoln's birthday and February 22nd was Washington's birthday and every year we would make craft projects in our rooms at school that included their silhouettes on construction paper.

I don't know whose idea it was to combine the two dates into one "President's Day" in February but I miss having the two separate holidays. I suppose someone decided that other presidents deserved equal recognition but whatever the reason, today we have one holiday to celebrate both of them.

But I will always remember Abraham Lincoln on February 12th and George Washington on February 22nd.

The strange thing is this: My grandparents named my father James Madison after the 4th president. But he was born on February 22nd. Not that I wish he had been named George Washington, but isn't that a little odd???

Humility

2012-02-12T01:13:00.032-05:00

I've always been a fairly humble person. I think growing up chubby and having a father who was always quick to point out our flaws tended to make me more humble than some people, and I've always needed to find ways to boost my self-esteem lest I fall into that trap of feeling as though I couldn't do the things I wanted to. It kept me from going to collage and I realized at some point it was something I needed to really work on or I'd never accomplish anything in my life. So I think I've found a good balance. But honestly, I am pretty humble.

Which makes it very strange that I ever sought out a public office. It's the kind of thing I probably would never have done thirty years ago but when I was approached about being appointed to serve on a local municipal board some time back I saw it as more of community service than anything else and since I dearly love my community I agreed. Fast forward a few years and suddenly I'm running for an elected office and can hardly believe it myself.

I've been in office nearly twelve years now and here's what I love about it: nothing keeps you as humble as being in elected office. Because people seem to feel free to be as rude and unkind as they want to be when you are the target. People who would normally be friendly and polite seem to think that once you are in office you are fair game for their barbs and nasty comments and I sometimes wonder what happened to the days when people actually respected their public officials. That was a long time ago now, but it must have been nice!

Well I've become pretty much immune to the worst comments that come my way. I've been called everything from an animal hater to a moron and I've come to understand that the truth is usually somewhere in the middle, almost always. So I try to listen carefully to the measured and well-thought-out comments offered by most citizens and pretty much dismiss the more hateful ones, while still making the effort to absorb any truth among the vitriol. It helps t have a sense of humor and I can't imagine not being able to laugh about it.

It's truly a delicate balance. And its also very humbling!

February

2012-02-11T06:00:00.046-05:00

This continues to be one of the most mild winters in recent history and I'm enjoying every moment of it. I bought new boots for the snow this year and have yet to put them on. The snow blower is still beneath the tarp on the deck and the snow shovels are waiting by the door. What a wonderful thing to be able to say that in February!

I've spent more time in a wool sweater than I have my winter coat, and I think I've only worn a hat once. Some days it seems warmer outside than it does in my house as the sun warms the air and streams into the windows. There have been days that were absolutely springlike in their color and temperature and I keep expecting the bulbs to start sprouting at any time. With winter half over now I think the rest of the time will go quickly. Even a blizzard or two in March can't ruin this wonderful season and I will always remember it as one of my favorites. Not a single plan has been ruined due to weather. That's a rare thing to be able to say in a normal winter season!

Today the snow is coming down in beautiful, big fluffy flakes, but doesn't seem to be accumulating. I'll take it! It's pretty to look at and by Monday the temperature is climbing back into the 50s. What's to complain about?

In another month we'll be talking about daffodils and crocuses and our minds will begin to turn to the busy days of summer. Month follows month. year follows year, and so our lives move on. Winter is half over. And so another year of our lives continues.

Reflections

2012-02-10T04:11:00.013-05:00

So a few weeks ago I was talking about the Super Bowl and how much I dislike the halftime show. I think I mentioned that I would gladly take a good marching band any day. I love a good marching band! Lo and behold, in the midst of the Madonna madness that was the halftime show this year, there was a marching band! Glory be! For about 1 minute I actually enjoyed what should have been the entire halftime show! But it was barely a flash in the pan and they disappeared before I could really enjoy them. And then she had the nerve to substitute the marching band with a choir. Somehow the words "Madonna" and "choir" just don't seem to go together at all. So that was a total miss as far as I was concerned.

I really dislike the Super Bowl halftime shows. They are all fluff and no substance and in this case, it was like watching a "golden oldies" show with someone way past their prime. Sorry, but Madonna's rose has lost its bloom.

But I was happy to know that someone in the NFL reads my blog and got the message about having a marching band anyway....

A gift

2012-02-09T04:54:00.031-05:00

I was given a wonderful gift last week - an entire day with three of my grandchildren, all to myself. I was in heaven.

These three live in Pennsylvania so I don't see them as often as I'd like. I rarely get to see them in school programs or church choirs, and I miss that. I know I'm fortunate to have that with my other grandchildren and perhaps, in a way, I think that makes me even more aware of what it is I'm missing.

I don't think I've ever had the three of them all to myself for an extended period. They're old enough to be pretty self-sufficient, the oldest almost ten and the youngest, five. They can get themselves into car seats and for the most part dress themselves and brush their own hair. So there's little effort involved in taking care of them - they mostly take care of themselves. There are no babies left in that family. So we were able to climb into the big minivan and take off while their parents were otherwise engaged. We drove to Sag Harbor and shopped at the 5 & 10, which is a great store for all ages, and they loved it. Each of them had some money I'd given them to spend so they perused the toy aisles and took their time deciding what to buy. From there we stopped at a couple places I needed to for my errands, and then we went to lunch in Amagansett. We had plenty of quality time to talk about things like manners ("Why am I supposed to put my napkin in my lap?") and my experiences as a child myself ("Did you know I went to camp when I was your age?"), and of course to discuss food and all their likes and dislikes. This (having lunch out) is something I would have loved to do with my own kids when they were small but our budget would never have allowed it! (This is one of the best things about being a grandparent!)

When we got home I pulled out an old classic movie and we happily watched "Meet Me in St. Louis" with Judy Garland. When my granddaughter said what a beautiful voice the girl in the movie had I was thrilled. And when I explained to them that she was the same person who played Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz", only all grown up, their eyes glowed with the revelation.

It was a day made in heaven for a grandmother. I hope I get another one like it some day.

More Downton

2012-02-08T01:50:00.024-05:00

I am enthralled with the new season of Downton Abbey and now its nearly over. Last year when the final episode aired and I knew it was over I was bereft. I am so enthralled with the lives of these people, from the scullery maid to the dowager countess, I feel as though I am in their heads, totally understanding the burdens and concerns of both the upper and lower class in Victorian England.

I think we Americans are especially fascinated with the English class system. I'm not sure whether its because for many of us our roots are there and we can only imagine what our own lives would have been or could have been had our ancestors decided to stay where they were, but chances are most of us would have been part of the "downstairs" crew, otherwise our beloved great-great-great grandparents would have been more than content to stay right where they were. Stands to reason if they were venturing this far for a better life they must have needed to move up in the world. Had they stayed where they were I would no doubt be living in some slum in Liverpool today.

Of course we fantasize about the possibility that we could have been "to the manor born" and had all that wealth and living space to ourselves. Then again, as a woman I would never have inherited any of it anyway. But perhaps I could have married well!

Ah - Downton Abbey - a wonderful, sophisticated, fantasy world for people like me to enjoy. The fine acting and spectacular scenery doesn't hurt any either. I'm already anxiously waiting for season 3.

Simple joys

2012-02-07T02:12:00.019-05:00

Last week I got to babysit for my nearly two-year-old granddaughter one day while her parents worked. How lucky am I?

A few weeks ago I picked up a cute little metal shopping cart on sale at Pier 1. I'm always on the lookout for new toys to keep the kids entertained while they're here, and I knew Piper would love this one. So the first order of business was for her to put the sock monkey in the shoppig cart and start strolling around the house saying she was "shopping". Then I got a brilliant idea and opened the floor-to-ceiling cabinets in the kitchen for her. She was so excited to see all the canned goods and other foodstuff! I gently urged her toward the safest things and soon her cart was packed with real food. She had: red and green sprinkles, a box of jell-o, a box of rice, a bag of peanut butter chips, some Italian seasoning, and a plastic bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup. She steered the cart into the living room and soon the ottoman was serving as the check-out counter and she unpacked her groceries, commenting on each item as she set it on the "conveyor". (I have no idea what she was saying but I could usually make out the name of the item within the garbled sentences.) Then, she packed it all back into her cart and happily went off again. We must have packed and unpacked that cart about fifty times before she finally tired of the game and I knew I had a hit on my hands in this inexpensive little toy.

When she left later in the day with her mother I thought back over the morning and smiled at the memory of her little face lighting up whenever she picked up an item from her cart and placed it on the ottoman. One of the most wonderful things about children is the simple pleasure they get out of the smallest game or toy. They find something that entertains them and they milk it for all its worth. And I remembered how much fun it was to have little ones around my house all the time.

Weird

2012-02-06T04:30:00.041-05:00

There seems to be a new rash of weird television shows lately. There's one called "Touch" that just debuted and another called "The River" that's coming soon and both seem pretty bizarre. I don't think I can watch "The River". It looks a little two freaky for me to watch before I go to bed at night. I've never been a big fan of horror movies, or anything connected to the spirit/paranormal world, and this show seems to fit into that category. I'm just too squeamish I guess. And the idea of having it come into my living room, well, it simply creeps me out.

So what's with this new interest in these weird shows? What happened to sit coms and fun stuff? And why has it been so many years since we've had a good variety show? Bring back the "Hollywood Palace" and I'll be very happy! Better yet, how about "Laugh-in"? I want a few light moments before I turn in for the night - a few laughs or a comedy routine. I don't want to wake at 2 in the morning thinking about spirits and all the horrible things that can happen in the dark. I have a hard enough time walking out my back door at that hour when I get an ambulance call, the last thing I need to think about is what creepy thing might be laying in wait for me.

Where is Mary Richards when I need her???

The keys

2012-02-05T01:23:00.024-05:00

I've been thinking about a trip I'd like to take next winter to the Florida keys. I'm not a big Florida person - I don't sit on the beach and I don't like heat and humidity - but I like to travel and the flights are cheap so its a logical destination. And in my recent Southern Living magazine there was an article about exploring the Florida keys. I was fascinated.

I enjoy going to places that are interesting. I don't want to go someplace where there's nothing to do but read and sunbathe, I want to see historic sites and learn about the area I visit. The article in the magazine made it look like great fun to drive through the keys, exploring as you go, and eating at wonderful restaurants and shopping at interesting places all along the way south to Key West.

It sounds like great fun to me, with lots to see and do and no way to be bored. I think if I start planning now, maybe I can save enough money and put a good itinerary together by 2013...

Gray

2012-02-04T02:59:00.030-05:00

I have decided that the great equalizer in life is gray hair. (I still don't know when "gray" is appropriate and when "grey" is right - what's the deal with that anyway?)

I went to a birthday party last weekend and saw someone I hadn't seen in many years. This man used to have the most beautiful red hair, with the coloring that only a redhead has to compliment it. When he walked into a room, you noticed. I think most redheads are that way, especially the natural ones. And its almost always easy to tell a natural redhead from one from a bottle. I think its almost impossible to create a natural looking red and only nature manages it well.

Anyway, I hardly recognized this guy because he is now completely gray. And that made me think about the fact that gray hair can be the real neutralizing factor in life because once we are all gray we become nearly indecipherable from one another. Suddenly the person that you would have described as "the redhead" has become just another gray haired older gentleman. It also made me realize that what I don't know about many of my friends, people that I didn't meet until they were older, because since I've known them they've had gray hair. Were they blondes? Redheads? Brunettes? I don't know!

I think I'm on a mission now. I think I need to find a way to see these people's wedding albums. I need to see what they looked like in their other lives - before the gray made them part of the "senior citizens" focus group and erasing their individuality in the process. It would be nice if gray hair were considered a badge of honor that was earned through a long life, but in our youth-obsessed culture it surely is not. And what I'm really thinking is, thank goodness for hair dye!

Flu

2012-02-03T02:47:00.032-05:00

My grandchildren have been going through the flu these past few weeks, passing it around amongst themselves, keeping their mothers at home and missing lots of school. I've been trying to remember the last time I had the flu and I think it was about 38 years ago now. That was the year I was pregnant with my first child and I was miserable. If I came down with the flu after that time I suppose I just went on with my life because once you have children at home you don't get to go to bed with anything. So the last one I remember was in 1975.

It's also been helpful that I've worked on the ambulance association for over twenty years now and every year we are given flu shots. It's optional, but I always had mine because I never wanted to bring anything home to my kids back when they were still at home. I know a flu shot is only 70% effective, but they've always worked for me so I'm a believer. So I'm not worried about catching the flu from the kids, but I still keep my distance and wash my hands faithfully.

This seems to have been a tough winter for everyone in terms of viruses and bacterial infections and I wonder if the warmer weather has anything to do with it. So many have had bronchitis or pneumonia and the pharmacies must be making a lot of money. It's making me long for spring, which is not something I normally do so early in the season. Winter has hardly begun but already its getting to be a bit tiresome.

Well its February so March is right around the corner and spring is already on the horizon. Another flu season is soon to be past. Sooner than later I hope.

Black

2012-02-02T02:36:00.018-05:00

I used to make fun of people who wore the color black all the time. The people who attend the Hamptons Film Festival are famous for it and we all refer to them as "the people in black" when they are town, because they all seem to be completely outfitted in it from head to toe. Sometimes they walk in packs down Main Street and its like a black fog rolling down the sidewalk.

I remember that Johnny Cash was known as "the man in black" and always wore it onstage. I saw him in concert once and he confessed that it had more to do with his clothes always looking clean than anything else - he'd worn white once and it immediately had some black scuff mark on it and it couldn't be worn again onstage. So he went back to black.

I'm beginning to morph into a "black" person. I think I'm taking on Johnny Cash's mindset because I love the fact that black doesn't stain and the only shirts that last me year to year are the black ones. Combine that with the fact that a colorful scarf or pretty sweater over black works anywhere, so accessories become simple ways to turn black from drab to dramatic.

I think as an old lady I shall wear - not purple - but black. Black jeans, black tees, black shoes, black coats...because then I won't ever need to worry about coordinating pieces and keeping them stain free. Black is going to become my new "go-to" color. Or lack thereof. I have dozens of colorful scarves....

Winter break

2012-02-01T03:58:00.030-05:00

So many people need a break in the winter. They tire of the snow and ice, want to get into the sun, and head to someplace south for a week or more. I wonder what they're doing this year? I mean, we've only had snow once and barely enough to count, and temperatures have hovered in the 50s nearly all winter. What's to get away from? I think I'm loving it right here.

I feel sorry for the people complaining about the warm weather - and there are some out there. They are the ones who sell snow shovels and plow driveways, who love to go skiing and snowboarding, but honestly I don't feel that badly for them! The rest of us are thrilled with the temperate winter we're having and think this is just fine. East Hampon looks beautiful this winter, with bluer skies than normal. There's very little gray in this winter sky - just lots of blue with pretty white clouds. Some days I could swear it was May!

Of course we still have February and March to get through, but once February is here we start feeling as though winter is coming to an end and spring is right around the corner. And it is! Before you know it we'll be talking about the bulbs pushing up through the cold dirt, and putting the snow blower away. It's been sitting idle all these months - a hulking form under a tarp on the deck, ready for the big snow that has yet to come.

This has been a nice winter break for me - a break from the heat and humidity and the air conditioning - and I'm not even slightly envious of those in Florida or the Carolinas. This weather is just fine....

Pier 1

2012-01-31T05:45:00.005-05:00

Is it just me of is Pier 1 everybody's favorite store?

I love Pier 1. I love the prices and I love the products. I love to be able to stop there and come out with some treasure without breaking the bank. There's decor to brighten up the house, some pillows for the bedroom or a new chair for the living room, and beautiful things to enliven my next dinner party.

A few weeks ago I bought a nice arm chair for my bedroom at a yard sale. It was the perfect size and a nice neutral color and I'd been looking for one for quite some time. I wanted a corner spot to be able to curl up and watch television when my beloved was watching something downstairs that I'm not interested in. I also bought a nice floor lamp for a song at IKEA, an adjustable spotlight type thing which can be easily adjusted to use for reading. I had everything in place except a nice ottoman.

I have looked everywhere for an ottoman. I shopped at all the local furniture shops, all of whom are having winter sales. No where could I find a nice upholstered ottoman for less money than I'd paid for the chair and somehow I just couldn't bring myself to do that, even if they were half-price.

Then I thought of Pier 1. The next time I was in Southampton with time to spare I stopped in and lo and behold, just inside the door there it was! A beautiful, leather-look upholstered ottoman in three colors. None of which I wanted, but the price was right! So I went to the desk. Was there any chance this particular piece came in ivory? A quick look in the computer confirmed my hope: it did come in ivory and it could be delivered to Southampton within a week. I bought it on the spot. And now I love Pier 1 even more than I did before.

Chocolate chips

2012-01-30T05:35:00.016-05:00

I think I've mentioned before that I have such an addiction to m&ms that I avoid buying them altogether. I know my addictions and I try to deal with them on my own, with limited success. But now I'm seeing that my addiction is really more about chocolate than m&ms because I'm equally struggling with chocolate chips. You know the ones I'm talking about - not the cookies - but the actual Toll House semi-sweet chocolate bits that we buy in bags to make the cookies with. I love them.

I think, like m&ms, the appeal of the chocolate chips is the small size and the fact that I can get a quick chocolate fix with just a few in my hand, slowly melted in my mouth and savored for their flavor and texture. The chips are nice and smooth whereas the m&ms are a wonderful combination of melted chocolate with that nice crunchy shell. Yum.

The bottom line is that chocolate brings about endorphins and endorphins bring about a wonderful feeling of contentment and having a handful of chocolate, whether chips or m&ms, provides a nice little lift in the middle of the day. Or at the end. Or the beginning. And so presents the problem. I can't keep my hands out of the cupboard.

Ah, chocolate. Soothes the savage beast. Or is that music?

ICU

2012-01-29T03:45:00.034-05:00

I've spent my share of time at the ICU unit of Southampton Hospital: my grandmother, my father, my father-in-law, my husband, my dear friend's father - I sat for many hours in the waiting area and in the patient rooms for each of those people. So I know a bit about the stress and exhaustion that go with someone you love being in the Intensive Care Unit.

This week Southampton Hospital opened their newly refurbished ICU and it is a beautiful thing. New lighting, the newest equipment, including beds that do everything from weight the patient to lifting them out to a standing position, a new call system, beautiful new decor, and the best of everything for the care of critical patients. I was so impressed with the vision and care of the staff and their excitement and enthusiasm about the new space. And I was happy to know that not only was this space going to enable the staff to take the best possible care of their patients, but they would also be able to do so in pleasant, efficient surroundings.

It made me think about how grateful I am for the generous people who donate to the hospital every year because all of us benefit from their gifts. And it reminded me how lucky we are that we have this community hospital here on the East End to take care of us when we need it. There are people in other areas of this country who have to drive hours to get to the closest hospital. I'm so glad that's not the case here. So I tip my hat to the staff and administration of Southampton Hospital, and it's generous donors, for making a difference for all of us.

National anthem

2012-01-28T03:53:00.017-05:00

Stephen Tyler's rendition of the National Anthem at the championship football game last week got plenty of press. It mostly amused me, because I've had a problem with the issue of who sings "The Star Spangled Banner" for years now. I don't understand it all.

If you ask a rock singer - or a comedian - to sing the National Anthem, you get what you ask for. You get a silly or sad form of a song that is sacred to the American people. And then - shockingly - people are stunned when it isn't done well. Why are you surprised when you put a chicken in the oven and it doesn't come out like a filet mignon? It's the same concept! If you are more interested in getting a "name" to sing a song that important than you are with having it done well, shame on you! There are thousands of talented singers in this country who are professional and talented and could nail that song with no problem. Or it could be done by a military band, or a chorus, or some other wonderful group. So why are we asking people who specialize in screaming, rocking music to sing what is a difficult piece of music to conquer? I want to hear him sing rock! Is there any logic here at all? Should the presentation of our National Anthem really be about ratings and do we really need some superstar to do it? I happen to like Stephen Tyler, but I like him as the front man for Aerosmith, I would never choose him to be the singer of that song for a major event (or even a minor one for that matter).

I don't think Stephen Tyler is to blame, unless its as someone who should have known when to say "no". I think it says more about television executives than anything else. That's my two cents about it anyway!

Roadside assistance

2012-01-27T03:37:00.023-05:00

I've been spending many hours on the road recently, helping with a friend who needs transportation to Stony Brook Hospital for radiation treatments. The route is easy, but I don't like spending so much time on major highways. I hate multiple lanes and high-speed travel. And it was inevitable that at some point there would be some sort of incident. Enter Triple A!

We've been members of AAA since about 1993 when we started regular road trips to take our eldest to college. I felt more comfortable with the little bit of insurance that the organization offered in terms of their roadside assistance program. It has come in handy a few times, once for a son who had an accident on his way back to college, and a couple times for keys locked in the car. On nearly twenty years of membership we've used the services less than half-dozen times. So I would say that so far they've made plenty of money on us.

When my car broke down on Sunrise Highway recently I called AAA. I was not pleased with the service person on the other end of the phone. In the first place I expected him to inquire right off the bat whether or not we were in a safe place. He never asked that question and never offered to call the police to assure we were OK. When I asked for assistance he gave me the third degree, and not in a terribly friendly manner. He wanted to know what town I was in ("I'm not sure but we just passed the Westhampton exit") and what the nearest cross street was ("There are no cross streets - its a highway") and what was the exit number ("I don't know - it was Westhampton - do you want me to walk back 1.8th of a mile to look at the sign?") and so it went. I became more and more frustrated as I sat shaking by the side of the road, feeling the pull of heavy trucks and fast-moving vehicles flying by us within a few feet. We were going to be late for her treatment. I didn't know what was wrong with the car. I didn't know what the answers to his questions were. The final straw was when he asked where I wanted the car to be towed to. I told him the name of the service station in East Hampton. He wanted an address. I didn't have an address but I had a phone number. He insisted he needed an address. I was nearly in tears.

But here's the kicker. He got my mechanic on the phone and made the mistake of having me on a three-way conversation. I could hear the difference in the tone of his voice when he spoke to the mechanic. There was no condescension, no annoyance, and no insistence that he needed more information, even when the mechanic said he needed to have the tow truck operator call when he reached EH because he would not find his shop by the address. Somehow whatever he said was acceptable, but nothing I said was.

And there you have it. Anyone who doesn't believe that men are treated differently than women don't have any idea what they're talking about. And I'm glad I had my Triple A membership, but I hope I never have to deal with that operator again...

Super Bowl

2012-01-26T04:49:00.013-05:00

OK so now we are heading for the Super Bowl. Most years its not big deal because they aren't local teams playing and we rarely do anything special for the event. But this year the Giants are playing so I know the game will be on.

I'm already planning my evening. I will get a knitting project going, number one. As long as I have something to keep my mind occupied, meaning a complicated pattern of some sort, I will be able to stay content while the overly-hyped nonsense ensues. I hate all the hoopla that goes with the Super Bowl, especially the long drawn-out halftime show that is more Hollywood than anything else. Nonsense to me! (I'd much rather watch the Grambling marching band any day!)

Then I think I'll do some sort of baking project, which will make my husband happy and entertain me at the same time. Maybe one of our kids will want to come watch with us, which would be nice, but its doubtful.They don't seem to gravitate here the way we all did at my parent's house years ago. Still trying to figure that out, but I think there are a number of reasons for it, including a smaller house!

So, Super Bowl Sunday will be OK. But I need to go find another knitting project soon.....

Light

2012-01-25T05:12:00.003-05:00

The light is arriving noticeably earlier these days. I greet it with mixed feelings.

Most mornings I'm out of bed by 6-6:30. On those rare days when I have no pressing schedule, I love to stay under the covers until 7, especially in these dark winter months when the air outside the comfort of my down comforter is so cold and the sun is still making its way into our hemisphere. But once the light begins to dawn, the pull to climb out from that cozy cocoon is way too strong. This week I noticed that the sun is up, or at least peeking over the horizon, between 6:30 and 7 and I'm more than ready to climb out of bed. So summer is coming - if only in the light of morning!

Saturday mornings will soon be lighter and sleeping in late will rarely occur. Of course, to some people the idea of sleeping until 7 being "late" is laughable, and when I was younger I would have agreed. But between rising early to get four kids off to school all those years and being married to an early riser, I can't imagine staying in bed much longer. Unless, of course, someone wanted to bring me breakfast in bed - or just cuddle for awhile....

Now if only we could do something about that cold!

Laundry

2012-01-24T04:28:00.002-05:00

Laundry is one of those things that unifies us in our similarities-we all have to do it, unless we're wealthy enough to have someone else do it for us. I don't personally know anyone in that category (that I know of) but I'm sure there are plenty of them. For me and the people I know, laundry is something we all deal with.

When we were first married we had no washer and dryer and we went to my parents every week and did laundry. With a small baby it was a lot of wash and we spend every Wednesday evening watching TV with my parents, the baby asleep on a blanket on the floor. Looking back on those days with the perspective of age is interesting because at the time I resented not having my own appliances to use but now I treasure those nights with my folks. Since they're both gone now I pull memories back often and think about how much I miss those days when we were young and life was all ahead of us.

Once baby number two came along we managed to get a house of our own and it included an old washer and dryer so I started doing laundry at home. By the time we had four kids the washer was running about every day, eventually each of them doing their own but still keeping the laundry area busy. Then, one at a time they began to leave home and the frequency of running the appliances slowed down...a lot! Now we're back to doing one load a week for the most part, whichever one of us starts running out of clothes first bringing the pile downstairs. We've long ago overcome our differences in how to pair up socks and fold pants, but we don't agree on everything so sometimes re-folding is in order. But all in all, like everyone else in the world, we wash our clothes, fold them and put them away on a regular basis. At least in our case we don't have to do it on rocks in the river. Now that's something to be thankful for!

Lazy days

2012-01-23T04:16:00.045-05:00

I find winter to have a lot of lazy days. I think its the cold weather which restricts our outdoor time, that makes us less ambitious because in the summer, when the sun is shining and we have all those extra hours of daylight, I find myself feeling guilty if I'm not outside doing something productive. There are always weeds to be pulled and flowers to be deadheaded, or the yard to be picked up. It seems as though every hour of daylight has to be filled - we need to justify our existence. But in the winter, there are no such pressures on us. It's too dark, and too cold, and too difficult to spend much time outside and its so easy to make excuses for time spent relaxing.

Its winter now and there's no guilt in the winter. We can spend our days in front of the fireplace and simply enjoy the things we don't have time for all summer long. A good book, a long movie, a quiet conversation. These are the gifts of winter. And when I'm busy in the summer, I dream of these quiet days.

Someone on Facebook this past weekend was laughing about our snow here and saying how he'd just mown his lawn out in California. It made me smile actually because his post made me realize how much I loved being right here, in January in East Hampton, enjoying a nice snow day with no guilt at all about a lawn that needed mowing. There was an action adventure movie to watch and it was cold outside! I wasn't going anywhere.

Ah, winter!

Hands

2012-01-22T04:58:00.014-05:00

The problem I have with the cold weather is my hands. They never seem to be warm.

We keep out temperature pretty low in the winter and I deal with that by wearing heavy wool sweaters around the house. I can be perfectly comfortable with the exception of my hands, which, when its really cold outside, just never seem to warm up. Most of this winter we've been able to turn on the gas fireplace which sends a nice steady stream of hot air into the living room and my hands are toasty warm in no time at all. But when the temperature dropped last week into the below-freezing category, that gas fireplace cranked away for hours and my hands never made it past the "just defrosted" stage. It wasn't warm enough to knit, which really annoyed me, and the only thing I could do was keep them between my legs to keep them warm enough.

Thankfully, most of our winter doesn't stay in those temperature ranges and I am hard at work on some knitting projects. But it makes me worry about the future. I remember my grandparents house always being so over-heated to me when I was young, and my medical training has taught me that this is typical for older folks whose internal thermostats don't work quite as well as they used to. And I'm wondering what I'll ever do in another ten years when the rest of my body has the same problem as my hands do now.

I suppose that's why so many of my contemporaries are moving south....

Football

2012-01-21T05:50:00.016-05:00

Last week the Giants were playing football in what I guess was an important game, so it was on the TV at our house. I endured the entire game and I have to say, I just don't get it.

Now I'm not an anti-sports person. I love the Olympics and watch all the different sports at the games. I enjoy high school sports and kids sports, but professional sports just leaves me a little cold. Especially football. I've tried to figure out what it is I don't like about it, but the only thins I can come up with is the personality types that seem to dominate the game. I find them to be overly obnoxious with egos the size of Montana. They gloat over their victories and sulk over their losses. I'm sure there are some nice guys in the sport, but for the most part when I watch them play I see overly large toddlers, stamping their feet when they don't get their own way and jumping up and down like silly kids when they do something right, which is I assume what they get paid so much money to do in the first place.

It's been a long time since I've been really interested in any pro football competition - I think it was the Jets in Super Bowl III? After all, Joe Namath was cute and I was young, so it was to be expected. But lately there just hasn't been anything that really caught my attention. With the Giants being in the post-season it makes me feel a bit out-of-the-loop. I'm ready for spring training to begin...

Flannel

2012-01-20T03:56:00.020-05:00

We finally broke down and got the flannel sheets out this past week. With temperatures dropping into the twenties it had to happen, and now the bed is cozy and warm when I climb in at night.

Years ago I remember when they first came out with pajamas and nightgowns with the new fabric they called "cuddleskin" - it was satin on the outside but flannel on the inside. So they looked pretty and silky but had the warmth and comfort of the flannel on the inside, making whatever you were wearing to bed really perfect. I was hooked and I still have some nice pjs that are silky blue satin outside and cozy warm flannel inside. The best of both worlds.

Plus, if you want to use flannel sheets you need silky nightwear, or else nothing at all, because an old fashioned flannel nightgown will end up around you neck otherwise. Flannel against flannel is not the best idea, at least not for someone like me who twists and turns all night long, flipping around into various positions.

These months of low temperatures are surely flannel sheet nights and its a pleasure to sink into them after a nice hot bath right before bed. Ahhh....

The bridge

2012-01-19T04:33:00.001-05:00

We live a few dozen feet from a railroad underpass. Two of them actually, but one is on our street and one a street over, but still visible from my house and within earshot. Both of them get hit regularly by trucks that are too high to get underneath them.

Recently the one closest to us was hit, again, which is less common in the winter than it is in the summer for some reason. Simply the difference in traffic volume I suppose. But it made us wonder how many times a year the bridge is actually hit. I would guess its more than a dozen if you include both bridges because sometimes in the warmer months it seems to happen about once a week. I'm sure its at least a dozen and possibly even more. Now these bridges are clearly marked with warning signs which state the clearance, but for various reasons they aren't heeded. Whenever it happens we know it instantly because the sound is unmistakable. Sometimes the truck actually gets to the other side, peeling back the top of the truck like a sardine can. But if they're too tall they can't do that and although I've seen entire sides bent back and the contents exposed, quite often only the front is badly damaged. Occasionally one becomes wedged beneath the span and it takes hours to get it out.

One might think stupidity has something to do with these accidents but that's not my impression. I think its usually distraction or ignorance. Many times the vehicles involved are rental trucks and the drivers simply inexperienced in driving something so large. Sometimes a different route was taken than normal and therefore confusion contributed to the disaster. And I've also seen instances where substitute drivers were behind the wheel or new vehicles were being driven. I always find myself sympathizing with the poor victims, who are usually in a state of shock.

Imagine what a jolt it would be to come to a sudden stop when driving 30 miles an hour down the road minding your own business!

The real answer to the problem is to raise the bridges of course. But it certainly would cut down on our entertainment around here...

Sweaters

2012-01-18T03:07:00.014-05:00

I wonder what I would do without sweaters in the winter. I love them.

Sometimes I'm embarrassed to realize I've worn the same old favorite sweater multiple days in the same week. They're comfortable, warm, and very forgiving in terms of my weight variations. It's rather like living in sweat pants, never worrying about a pound here or there, and snuggling on the couch without fear of wrinkles. What's not to love about a big comfy sweater?

Well, for one the cost of cleaning. I can't bear to take things to the dry cleaners because its so costly and hand washing is such a labor-intensive and long process. Especially if we're talking wool!

Never mind though. I love my sweaters and, even with moth holes, I wear them constantly. I try to save the better looking ones for use outside the house. But inside, all bets are off.

People

2012-01-17T04:46:00.028-05:00

If I learned one thing with my health issues it's that the most important thing in your life is the people.

I've always loved people and I've always put a high value on the people who touch my life, but now I see everyone through different eyes. I greet complete strangers differently. I smile more at the people I pass on the street. I am more apt to talk to someone I don't know. And I long to touch every life I can while I am here.

I find myself longing for human contact. I can only go so long in an isolated state. Sometimes I love being alone, but those times don't last long and they aren't common! Mostly, I want to laugh with friends, eat with family, and see people I rarely get to. I look for opportunities to meet old friends for lunch and have dinner with new ones. And I look for ways to make acquaintances, even though its not easy for someone who's naturally shy like I am.

As much as I dislike doctor's appointments, I enjoy knowing my doctors. And I love any opportunity out there to get to know someone.

So - here's one of the grains of wisdom I've gleaned from my most recent introduction to my mortality: when all is said and done, when we are at the end of our days, it's the relationships we have and the people in our lives who will be our comfort and joy. That, and my relationship wit God, are the things that I'll spend the rest of my days nurturing. The rest...well....it's just stuff. And who needs stuff?

Breathing room

2012-01-16T04:45:00.001-05:00

January has been everything I'd hoped it would be. The weather has been mild, and I've had some nice open days to catch up on all my "stuff". I needed some time to just get things done and so far, January is delivering.

I am a project person. I've already received the materials for next summer's Vacation Bible School at church, which I've been running the past couple years. I count on January and February for planning. Because one the spring arrives I'm too busy to do much of anything! So I've had my books and catalog out, working on lists and organizing the program.

I spent two days last week taking Christmas down and putting things away from the holidays. I also cleaned out the freezer and did some other housework. I also started two knitting projects. I never knit between June and September, so now is the time to get knitting projects done.

I need to clean out some spaces and hope to get that done in the next few weeks.

This is my breathing room. January is giving me space to get things done and feel in control again, and providing me the time I need to get myself organized. I find the winter is the time for planning and keeping things in order because the rest of the year flies by so fast I can barely hang on.

I so needed this breathing room. And it feels so good.

Winter thoughts

2012-01-15T03:33:00.003-05:00

It's the dead of winter in East Hampton and the cold has settled in for the next weeks ahead. There are many who can't wait to get out of the north for the cold months and Florida beckons to many from here. But I'm not among them. I welcome a short visit to warmer climates, but there are wonders here during the winter months that I love as well. (To me the need to scrape the ice off my car is no worse than waiting for the a/c to make the leather seats tolerable in the heat of August! And there are only so many clothes you can take off when its humid, but layers work great in the coldest months.)

One of the best things about this time of year is the winter landscape, which is beautiful in its simplicity and form. Bare trees are stunningly architectural and against the winter sky especially lovely. The late afternoon sunsets are the perfect backdrop for a horizon lined with the black silhouettes of elms and oaks reaching skyward in the frigid air. Driving down Further Lane recently I saw trees with spiraled branches and they were gorgeous. I would never have seen that with the leaves in full bloom. The birches have peeling bark that's so pretty too. No snow yet, but when that happens it adds another dimension to the landscape.

I also love the bushes that are bare in winter. On Egypt Lane I notice the thick undergrowth, much of it invisible in season as the foliage hides the deeper reaches, but now the thickets are visible and the animals that inhabit them cannot easily find cover. I can see the deer deep inside the woods, calmly wandering about.

The best thing about an overnight snowfall is the absolute quiet that we wake to. No cars, no trucks, only the scraping of an occasional plow slowly rumbling down the street. We can hear the surf from our house when it snows all night. It's a welcome sound.

Winter is stark, but unique and special in its bare and exposed yards. I could use a trip to the Florida Keys for a week or two, more to clear my head than escape the weather, but I wouldn't want to miss all of winter in East Hampton so I'm more than happy to stay right here. It's all about stopping to notice what's around us in order to fully appreciate our surroundings.

Kelly

2012-01-14T05:47:00.001-05:00

I love Kelly Ripa - I really do. But I'm afraid without Regis my favorite morning show is just not the same.

From the very beginning I've watched Regis as he came to feel like a favorite uncle to me. I followed his various adventures and misadventures and laughed at his human foibles and self-deprecating sense of humor. I found him to be the kind of person I would love to hang out with, to be a member of my family, and to be able to go to when I needed help. I adored him.

Throughout the years I saw him go through many co-hosts and Kelly is one of the best he's had. She's cute and funny and witty and kind and again, someone I'd be happy to share a girls-night-out with anytime. But without Regis, somehow she's just not the same. Actually, she is the same - its just that something's missing on the show and I'm not sure they'll be able to find it again.

Because the truth is there probably isn't another Regis out there. Because if they were easy to find they would already be busy. He is a rare one and I miss him. I may stop recording the show altogether soon....

Digital

2012-01-13T03:44:00.015-05:00

I have a digital camera and I've never been a particularly good photographer, but the digital age makes things really challenging.

The good thing is I can take lots of photos and check them all out before wasting money on printing them. I can easily delete anything not worth saving and take many without worrying about the cost. That's a huge change in the photography world!

The bad thing is it takes so long between the time I push the button and the picture actually is taken. Now I've been trying to get photos of kids for a long time and and its never easy to get the right shot. But now its impossible. You snap it, and they move before the camera actually takes the picture. It's one of the most frustrating things in the world. I can't tell you how many photos I've taken of the back of one of the grandkids heads! They just don't stand still long enough!

My daughter got a fancy new digital camera for Christmas. It actually senses when the subject smiles and takes the photo instantaneously. Amazing. We tested it out and it works. It even has a setting you can adjust for a small smile, a regular smile, or a big smile. What in the world!?

I can't imagine how expensive that camera was because its a far cry from my little pocket camera that never seems to catch a smile. I think I may give up on the whole photography thing altogether...

Moonshine

2012-01-12T05:07:00.021-05:00

Tuesday morning was my day to volunteer at the hospital and I left, as always, at 7am to get there for my 7:30 shift. It's still dark at that hour and I scraped the window first as the temperature had dropped just enough overnight to leave a thin film of white, easy enough to get rid of, but a sign that colder days are coming.

Anyway, I left my driveway and drove to the traffic light, turned onto Montauk Highway, and as I rounded the curve by Hook Mill I literally gasped at the sight of the moon hanging just over the houses along North Main Street. It was huge, and bright and one of the most beautiful I've ever seen. I felt as though I could nearly reach out through my windshield and touch it.

I didn't stop, but when I turned the corner onto Woods Lane there it was again, right in front of me, like something out of a movie. It was one of those rare and exceptional things that nature gift us with evbery once in awhile, just to remind us that there is a bigger world out there and we're a mere speck in the universe. Wow - I was mesmerised.

I called my husband on my cell (I know, I know - and I really never drive and talk on the phone, but this was nearly an emergency!) and told him to please run out of his office and snap a photo. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And he did. The results are attached for all to appreciate and enjoy.

Sometimes a simple thing like a beautiful moon can wake us up to the beauty of the world and remind us we're simply not alone here on earth but there is something bigger than us at work. I welcome those reminders.

Loss

2012-01-11T05:55:00.034-05:00

Last week we lost another member of the community in a terrible accident. He was way too young (60) and had so much good left to do in his life. Going to the funeral home made me realize that his life touched so many people through his job and his family - the lines were out the door. It was incredibly sad.

I'm always moved by the way a single death can be so devastating in a small community. Although not everyone in town knew him, of course, many did. His life touched others through his job and they were there in abundance. He had once helped them through a difficult time and they remembered. He also had a wonderful wife and three great kids and others were touched by those lives, and they came to pay their respects.

I love East Hampton during times of loss. We pull together and hold each other up. We support the people who need it and we step up as necessary. Each of us feels the emptiness that's left behind when one of our own is taken from us too soon. When an elder dies, we share our sadness over someone special lost to us, but we also rejoice in the life well lived among us, enriching us all. But when one is taken too soon, its a sadness that's deeper and more profound. We are touched by the loss in a different way, making us appreciate each other all the more and peaking our awareness of the fragility of life. We need to value the people in our lives and not take them for granted. And we need to hold close to the things that make us who we are as a community. It's something that we should never forget.

East Hampton is a special place, made more special by the people who inhabit it. I'm so glad to be among them.

Vacation

2012-01-10T05:52:00.017-05:00

I really need a vacation. And someone to plan it for me.

We haven't been on a real vacation in awhile. (Now I'm not looking for a week on the Riviera or a cruise, necessarily (I'm not high maintenance, really!), just a few days away from home, with someone to make my bed and cook my food and nothing at all to think about other than...nothing. I would be thrilled to get away from the television set (which my husband is attached to), and away from all the scheduled meetings and events that clog up my calendar. It could be a B&B in Connecticut, or a long weekend at the Public House in Sturbridge Village. I'm really not fussy. And I know if I suggested it my husband would probably say "Sure - let's do it!".

But then the rest would be up to me. All the planning, the organizing, the research, the phone calls - and by the time I got it all done I'd want to stay home to recuperate.

I envy people who have assistants, whether they be secretaries or personal assistant-types. My father's secretary did all those things for him, planning his trips and making his arrangements. I need someone like that. Because I'm tired of being the planner. And I want someone to take me away! I want a Knight on a white horse to swoop in and pull me up on the back of the saddle and wisk me off to some romantic place where we can rekindle the romance that seems rather vague these days. Of course, its not his style and I know that. But a girl can dream, can 't she? And lacking that, a persona secretary would do nicely thank you!

I think I've been watching too much "Once Upon a Time" on Sunday nights. Reality bites sometimes! LOL

Monday morning

2012-01-09T05:15:00.021-05:00

Mondays have become "treatment" days. Not for me, thankfully, but for a dear friend.

In November a very special friend was diagnosed with cancer. It's a tricky kind to treat and there was much doctor visiting and hospital hopping trying to figure out how they would proceed. As its worked out, she's going to Stony Brook every day for radiation treatments and I take her Mondays. So Monday morning we leave my house at 7:30, drive for an hour-and-a-half, spend about 45 minutes at the hospital, then head back to East Hampton about 10-10:30. If she's feeling up to it we may stop for lunch when we get to Southampton or East Hampton, but if not I take her right back to her house so she can recuperate. It's a heavy treatment and it takes a toll on her physically and mentally.

I've had three years now to ponder cancer and the effect it has on our lives. I've seen so much in my own experience and heard so much of others. Once you're a member of "the club" you hear stories. Lots of stories. And there are many of them out there. I'm pretty consumed by my friend's cancer right now. I can't stop thinking about her and what she means to me. One is lucky in life to have a good friend like she is and I can't imagine my life without her. But I'm optimistic that the treatments will be successful and she and I will celebrate many more birthdays together. But until then, Mondays belong to her. And to the fight.

Master suite

2012-01-08T05:13:00.018-05:00

I love watching the HGTV show "House Hunters". I enjoy seeing homes in various parts of the country and comparing prices to what we have here in East Hampton. The thing that always amazes me is how big most people's master suites are. At least compared to mine!

Some homes have huge masters, with bathrooms almost as large as my bedroom. When we put a small addition on our home twenty years ago I thought I was really living the high life! My very own bathroom! My parents never had their own bathroom - we all shared the same one in that old Victorian. So having my own, as small as it is, was definitly an upgrade! And I do love it. But honestly its very modest compared to what I see on TV. Apparently in other parts of the country I could buy a home with a master suite as large as my whole upstairs is here in East Hampton.

Funny, but humanly speaking we really don't ever know what we don't have unless someone else points it out to us (or we see it on TV!) My grandparents would think I was living in a mansion.

And actually, I do too.

Southern style

2012-01-07T05:03:00.019-05:00

I hear all the time about people who are moving south. I guess its a reflection of my age, because as people retire they tend to go to warmer climates where they won't need to worry about shoveling snow or hiring someone to plow their driveway. I know people who've moved to Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee and California. I'm sure others from here have discovered Georgia and Virginia, although I'm not sure Virginia is far enough south to be that much different in temperature. I know they get snow there!

I love southern style everything and in fact I get Southern Living magazine, thanks to a relative who sent it to me years ago and got me hooked on the recipes and the southern style of living. I could easily move to Charleston, for instance, where there is history and the sea, similar to East Hampton, with elegant Victorian homes and beautiful historic sites everywhere. But I can't ever imagine really leaving East Hampton.

I would need a community with a nice village center, a downtown area with shops and museums, a wonderful sense of history, and beautiful old churches. I'd look for a place with a sense of community, not strip malls and outlet centers. And I'd have to find a place not too far from the sea, with pretty homes and lovingly tended gardens.

And I'd need central air since I wouldn't venture outside between May and October when its hot and humid in the south.

Somehow I can't imagine finding all that anyplace else so I'm pretty sure I'll just stay right here in East Hampton and deal with the snow....

January freeze

2012-01-06T05:03:00.008-05:00

We've had a gorgeous weather year so far since October and I am NOT complaining, that's for sure! We haven't had any snow yet and the temperatures have been downright springlike many days. My husband played golf Christmas week - I don't think that's ever happened before.

But this week the chill finally settled in and now it feels like winter. Leaving my house Tuesday morning for the hospital was downright inhuman, with wind chills dipping into the low 30s. I really hate the wind in the winter! The same wonderful breeze we love in the summer becomes the enemy in the winter. I can deal with the cold, but the wind does me in.

So for a couple days we had cold. But they are predicting by the weekend it will warm up again. I like the sound of that.

I actually look forward to the first snowfall every year. But I like it when its convenient. I prefer it on a weekend when there are no big plans afoot, allowing me to sit at home and watch it from the comfort of my living room, cozy and warm in front of my fireplace. It's kitting and reading weather and the perfect excuse to stay at home and do nothing but bake and watch TV,

But....I'm not sure I'm ready yet. We just haven't had enough of a shoulder season, you know? A few weeks in the 40s, then down to the 30s, and we can slowly adjust to it all.

Well - too late now. Winter is here. Only three months until spring so bring it on!!!

More gifts

2012-01-05T03:31:00.004-05:00

This year I received many wonderful things for Christmas, but one I'm still not sure of. My husband gave me a kindle fire, which to tell you the truth I was clueless about when I opened it. I had no idea what it was. I've never been real interested in the readers because I love books, but then again rarely have the time to read them. But I can see the value of them in terms of being easy to carry and simple to use. So I'm going to work on seeing how this works and if its something I'll get lots of use out of or not. So far, not sure.

Mostly because all I've done on it so far is play Angry Birds. Now I was aware of the game because everyone talks about it, but had never really played it before other than a try on my son-in-law's iPad one day. But the kindle fire had one already loaded on, thanks to my husband, and so far that's all I've used it for. I've become a bit addicted to it already and am determined to lick every level I can as quickly as possible. I'm not sure that was a great gift, since this is the very reason I've never allowed myself to get into video gaming. I know my weaknesses.

One of my frustrations with it is that just as I'm into a really tough level, the battery starts to give out and I have to lose my momentum and re-charge it. But this issue really brings up another drawback in my mind: just suppose I'm deeply into a thriller of a book - something by Ken Follett say, or another writer like him. I've read his books late into the night, unable to put them down at certain points. Just suppose I'm in bed reading one of his latest books on my kindle fire, racing through the pages as things come to a heart-pounding conclusion. Suddenly, as I run my finger across the page to get to the last one, the battery sign comes on and "poof" - no more reading for the night! I think I might throw it across the room at that point.

I'm going to give it a game try. But I'll let you know how it all works out...

Gifts

2012-01-04T03:21:00.017-05:00

I love giving gifts. I get a great deal of pleasure out of finding something a person is really going to like, and watching the look on their face when they see what's hiding under the wrapping paper. It's one of the best things in the world, I think.

I imagine it all goes back to the joy we felt as kids on Christmas morning when we came down stairs to see what was under the tree. I can still remember the absolutely unbridled ecstasy of seeing the one thing you truly coveted sitting under the tree with your name on it. I remember certain dolls that just made me overjoyed with the ownership of them! Anyway, I think the memories of that joy are what compel us to try to find that perfect gift - the thing that will bring that feeling to someone we love.

We often saw it when our children were young. We knew what they wanted and it was easy to buy them the things that would please them the most. But now that they're older its not as easy. I try hard to find things that are different, and special, and will make each person know how much I love them. At the same time I have to keep fairness in mind, never showing any favoritism among my family. So what I've done these past few years, now that my family had grown so large, is try to find things that will please all the girls, for instance, and get one for each of them. This year it was Vera Bradley for the girls and Orvis for the boys. With four of each I can usually find at least that many colors so each is a little personalized, and I do spend time thinking about each one and which color or pattern best fits their personality. Equal, but different, as the saying goes!

The grandchildren are, of course, as easy to shop for as my own children were years ago. Children wear their hearts on their sleeves and we can enjoy the pleasure they get from each gift in turn.

Of course, I love receiving gifts as well as giving them, and that perfect gift, the one that conveys love and affection as much as obligation, is always a joy. But the real pleasure of the season is in the giving. And this year was a good one. I enjoyed every minute of it.

January

2012-01-03T04:05:00.019-05:00

I love January. I know some people hate it because the holidays are over and the weather is cold and it has no breaks in the middle to give us a chance to have fun. (Actually that's not true anymore because of Martin Luther King Day, but since that's a fairly new holiday people hold their anti-January views without thinking about it.) But I don't hold that feeling of dread and distaste as we head into the darkest part of the winter. I welcome it.

I find that January is the perfect time to reflect on our lives and evaluate where we are and where we're going. We have time to sit and read. We can curl up in a chair and play Angry Birds if we're so inclined, and no one is going to fault us for being lazy or wasting time. It's January, after all, and let the snow fly! Nothing is as good as a good snow storm in January - the kind that closes schools and keeps businesses closed for the day. And nothing's better than the sound of kids buildings snow man or forming teams for a snowball fight. Winter is a time of magic all it's own.

I love January. I'm going to organize my closet, and plan out my office renovation, and clean out my china cupboard. Or maybe not. We'll see...

HOME

2012-01-02T05:46:00.001-05:00

Last week, right after Christmas, we drove to my daughter's home in Pennsylvania for a holiday visit. We exchanged gifts and enjoyed some meals with other family, spent some time enjoying the unseasonably warm weather, and just enjoyed being with people we love.

I think that age gives us an interesting perspective on life in general, and family ties in particular. When we're younger we don't think a lot about how important family is to us because we are so tied up in our nuclear family we have a hard time even imagining a time when the extended members of our genealogical ties will be the most important people to us. But as we get older and our children grow up and leave us we have lots of time to think about what's really important in life. And we recognize that the family we have is the family we'll always have. Friends may come and go and our other ties also ebb and flow. Jobs change and the people we saw every day and who were so much part of our lives are suddenly no longer there. Good friends move and leave us and then they are merely names on Christmas cards. But family is forever and we never have anyone more important in our lives. Those of us who are lucky enough to have siblings and nieces and nephews and children and grandchildren know the truth of this. And we learn to hold tight to those people who are so important to us.

Every visit to Pennsylvania reminds me of how important our family is to us. It's our anchor, our security. Our friends are icing on the cake. If we have good friends and family both we are especially blessed.

Coming home on Saturday was sad and yet I was happy to be arriving back in East Hampton. It was still beautifully dressed for the holidays and welcomed us when we turned the corner at the pond.. As much as I loved seeing my family in Pennsylvania, there's no joy like that of arriving back home afterward. My own bed, my own couch, my own kitchen - the place I'm comfortable. I imagine I could probably make my home anywhere, especially with the people I love. But right now, that place is in East Hampton, in the house I've lived in for 34 years, on the street I've lived on for nearly 60 years, in the town that's part of who I am. It's good to be home.

New pages

2012-01-01T04:48:00.018-05:00

Today is the beginning of a brand new year. It's no different than yesterday was, and the only reason we even mark the years is our need to recognize time in our lives, and so we do it this way. We number days, weeks, months, years. And we talk about dates. So today, we throw away the calendar and start a brand new one.

There's something very liberating and wonderful about a brand new, clean calendar. Even though we already know there are days that are spoken for, it looks like a totally clean slate - a brand new life to write on. It makes us feel new again, like we can start over, make changes, renew resolutions. It helps us to re-focus and set priorities, which we need to do on a regular basis, and once a year seems just about perfect.

So from me to you on this first day of the brand new year, I wish you a wonderful, fulfilling, healthy year in 2012 and all the energy in the world to fill all those blank pages with things that make us happy. Here's to a really great year.

Doctor's offices

2011-12-31T04:47:00.002-05:00

Last week I had to go for my annual gyn appointment. Now I happen to like my doctor very much and have nothing negative to say about her. But the office? Hmmm

I went in and as is the norm was told to take everything off and put the paper gown on, with a paper drape to go across my lap. (Do men ever have to totally undress by the way???) So I did as I was told, and gratefully noticed that there was a stack of magazines on the chair so I grabbed one and sat on the exam table waiting. Now I don't think I've ever been in a doctor's office sitting without my clothes on when I didn't have to wait at least ten minutes. So I settled in and started to read. Within about three minutes I was freezing. I wrapped the paper drape over my knees and pulled it close. That didn't really help. I waited a few more minutes and then got up, grabbed the nice flannel shirt that I had taken off and was neatly folded on the chair, and pulled it on over the paper gown. Ah! Relief!

Once the doctor arrived I explained my odd outfit and remained so enrobed through the exam. I've learned to stand up for myself after the past few years and be my own advocate. Years ago I would have simply sat there shivering. But no more. With age does come wisdom - and a good dose of chutzpah too!

Another year

2011-12-30T07:45:00.000-05:00

Another year is passing and I'm feeling pretty grateful. I no longer grieve the passing of time, I celebrate it. Because each passing year is another one lived. And since its just three years in January since I was diagnosed with cancer, I'm celebrating yet another year of being.

The thing about a cancer diagnosis is the questions it raises. Initially, we think about death. We assume its a death sentence. In January of 2009 I spent many hours wondering if I would live another year. Or another six months. I had no idea. At the end of 2009 I recognized that I'd been given a wonderful gift. I'd been given a new urgency to my life. I was still alive - and realized that none of us knows how long we'll live - and I wanted to make sure that whatever time I had left on this earth needed to count for something. I had no more patience for negative people or for conflict and discord. I only wanted to be with people who made me laugh, and people I love, and I only wanted to do things that made a difference in the world.

I'm not sure I've always followed through with the promises I made to myself but I've tried hard to. And when I come to the end of yet another year, marking my gift of time in such a tangible way, I am rejoicing in my fortune and thanking God that for me, there were at least three more years of life to live.

Hot chocolate

2011-12-29T05:55:00.034-05:00

One of my great pleasures is a really good mug of hot chocolate.

I've never been a coffee drinker and I have no interest in tea. So the only hot drink I ever indulge in is cocoa. I don't dislike a good mug of hot cider, but that seems very seasonal and I only ever see it anywhere around October. When it comes to January, its all about the hot chocolate. It probably goes back to the days when my mother would have hot cocoa warming on the stove when we came in from playing in the snow or skating at Town Pond. There's something both nostalgic and heart-warming about sitting in front of the fireplace with a nice mug of warmth on a cold winter day.

The best hot chocolate I ever had was at the Plaza Hotel years ago. My husband and I had won a week-end trip there on a business contest. We were young, poor, and had four little children at home so this was a big deal for us. The hotel was luxurious and a little bit of heaven for us - just getting away for two nights was an unbelievable gift. Unfortunately we couldn't afford to eat at the hotel, but decided on our last morning to splurge and eat breakfast in the Oak Room. It was the most spectacular breakfast I've ever had, served on beautiful china and sterling silver. I ordered hot chocolate. I don't remember how much it cost but I remember it was expensive. They served it in a small silver pitcher, pouring it into my tea cup and leaving another cupful in the pitcher. I served myself the rest after I slowly savored the first one, including a nice dollop of whipped cream from the small container of it that came on the small tray with the pitcher. This, I realized, was the way the lucky people lived! With someone to serve them hot chocolate and whipped cream on a silver tray in the morning.

Well, I'm not sure whether that was actually the best cocoa I've ever had because I've made some pretty good stuff myself in my own home when I wanted to take the time and effort to do so. But that was, for sure, the best overall hot chocolate experience of my life.

Maybe someday I'll get to stay at the Plaza Hotel again and enjoy breakfast in the Oak Room. Probably not, but who knows? In the meantime I'll continue to enjoy the simple pleasure of a homemade mug in the comfort of my own cozy home and there's nothing second rate about that!

Chocolate

2011-12-28T03:05:00.015-05:00

I found Christmas this year to be very short on chocolate. No chocolate santas, no chocolate cookies, no chocolate fudge - what happened?

I always look forward to having chocolate overload over the holidays. It's like a constant endorphin high and I love it. I saw a giant chocolate santa delivered somewhere in the last days leading up to Christmas and I was so envious I nearly stopped to ask where it was from so I could order one for myself.

One exception was some outstanding chocolate cookies that were on a plate of various types of varieties at a friend's Christmas Open House. There were so many types of cookies, all beautifully displayed in a circular style, including cut-outs and gingerbread boy. Among the others were these lovely big dark chocolate disks and once I tasted the first one I was hooked. I'm embarrassed to say I ate every one on the plate - probably at least six of them - and left not a single one for anyone else to enjoy. I felt like a thief when I went slinking out the door when the party was over. I wondered if anyone else noticed my pig-out and was ashamed of myself.

But other than that one occasion there was little chocolate to be found at my house. I'm thinking my mother did this to me because every year there was a Russel Stover's hollow chocolate santa in my Christmas stocking and I think the association was forever imprinted on my brain.

Thankfully the holidays are nearly over now and I think the craving will pass....until Easter most likely.

Conflict

2011-12-27T02:56:00.025-05:00

I've recently been privy to a conflict which is happening within an organization I belong to. There's been a lot of back-and-forth emails and phone calls and people have tried to gather their forces. One person feels they were wronged by the other. The other feels they were wronged by the first. One person is in a position of authority over the other, complicating matters further.

I hate conflict. I don't understand it for the most part. In my life, when people do things I don't agree with I leave or ignore them. When someone is rude to me, or in some other way attacks me personally, I am more of a retreater than an attacker. I would go home with my tail between my legs, feeling hurt and sad but not in any way combative. And I don't take things personally most of the time. I have a tendency to write things off as someone "having a bad day" and imagine they received bad news or had a sad event in their life just prior to my seeing them. Bad timing can often result in confrontations. So I prefer to believe there was something else at work, not just a personality conflict.

I have a difficult time with people who simply can't get along nicely with others. I don't understand it and I can't stand it. Sometimes people need to just simply grow up and learn to play well with others. Didn't they learn this in nursery school?

More to come

2011-12-26T05:11:00.027-05:00

It's especially nice having both Christmas and New Year's Day on weekends this year because it really makes the week in between like a long holiday. We have things planned for the whole week and I feel as though its a bit of a vacation for us, which is a rare event. We rarely have time off together. I'm looking forward to it.

It's not easy owning a small business. It means that leaving for any length of time is difficult, to say the least. With only one other person in the office it means guilt for leaving them alone and worry over what might come up and be a problem for them. We've never been away for more than a week and that's unusual. I can only imagine how much fun it would be to leave for two weeks and not have to worry about anything going on at home.

That's the price you pay for being in business and it's the life we know. But this week will provide ample opportunity to spend time together, culminating with the ringing in of a brand new year. We've celebrated nearly 40 new years together now, but this one is especially meaningful: it will be the third one since my cancer, and there have been many times I wondered if there would be even one more. I am blessed to be alive, to feel good, and to be celebrating life, and to be seeing yet another year. I think this is going to be a really good week.

Christmas

2011-12-25T05:57:00.020-05:00

And today is Christmas. In many ways its the morning we wait for all year, every year. For Christians its the most sacred of holidays and our years revolve around it.

I am blessed among people to have family and friends that I love and cherish. I'm grateful for a warm house and clothes on my back. I know there are others who don't have those things and it makes me humble to know I did nothing to deserve my riches. Today of all days I feel small in the grand scheme of things and just a speck in the universe.

And yet I also feel like the most important person in the world on Christmas morning. Because my faith tells me that God loves me enough to have sent a baby to earth for me all those years ago, on the very first Christmas morning. For me. One of the greatest mysteries of all time.

I wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas, full of love and joy, and the sure knowledge that it is all for you.

An East Hampton Christmas

2011-12-24T08:37:00.006-05:00

East Hampton is so special at Christmas. Every year I'm amazed at how this place becomes as magical as a greeting card!

Coming home from anywhere west of here is heart-warming. Driving into the village along Montauk Highway leads into such a beautiful sight, with the tree in the middle of Town Pond covered in blue lights. Within sight of that is the Gardiner Windmill, with its arms outlined in white and stretching into the sky. Driving down Main Street is like unfolding a pop-up card. There's the big blue wreath on the side of Mulford Farmhouse, more white lights on the Schellinger Mill behind Home Sweet Home, a small pair of trees on the porch at Clinton Academy, dressed in red and green mini-lights, and of course the ones on the steps of the Presbyterian Church. The small trees that line either side of Main Street beckon you into the commercial district, and the arms of Hook Mill welcome you to keep on driving. Behind Hook Mill you can see the big pine at the end of Methodist Lane alight with multicolored bulbs, and around the corner the similarly huge tree is lighted in the Sheep Fold. One can drive all the way to the Montauk Lighthouse and see similar delights along the route, including the beautiful homes that people take time to decorate for the enjoyment of the rest of the community.

I also love the menorahs that the two Jewish congregations display on Woods Lane - sentinels of history facing each other from across the street, reminding us that East Hampton has always been a place of cultural and religious diversity - since the very earliest days. This year there is a menorah on Herrick Park standing next to the Christmas tree. Somehow it seems symbolic of what we're all about here in Bonac.

I love the way East Hampton looks at Christmas. It's beautifully elegant with its understated extravagance. It lights up our lives through some of the darkest days of winter and I look forward to it every year.

Tonight, on this Christmas Eve, I'm grateful for a community that celebrates life. And I'm reminded of how much I love East Hampton.

Tradition

2011-12-24T05:47:00.022-05:00

I don't remember much about Christmas Eves growing up. I don't think we had any special traditions or family time, we didn't go anywhere or do anything that I can remember. I used to listen to friends' traditions with envy, fathers reading "A Christmas Carol" out loud, or the Christmas story from the book of Luke. Sitting around the fire and having popcorn while the family gathered around to prepare for Christmas morning. We didn't have a church service that I can remember either. The only memory I have is of lying in my bed trying to go to sleep, and imagining I saw an elf peeking through the hole in my bedroom door where the old Victorian lock used to be. I can still remember that like it was yesterday and it must have been over fifty years ago now.

When I had children of my own I tried to create some traditions. Sometimes we read a book together, like "The Night Before Christmas". We had a nice family dinner, usually inviting the grandparents to come over, and always had a birthday cake and sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. It was a small way to make sure my children knew what the holiday was about.

The church we attend now has two Christmas Eve services, and one of them is always part of our evening. In addition, my daughter has been entertaining the family with a nice meal, and I think this tradition will follow for many years. I find that Christmas Eve is as special as Christmas morning now and I like that a lot. Traditions are wonderful things and I love creating and following them.

Dark

2011-12-23T05:35:00.026-05:00

It's so dark in the morning now! When I leave the house at 7 the headlights go on, and it's another twenty minutes at least before they can be turned off. Being an early riser I get up in the dark every day and we eat dinner in the dark every night.

How interesting is the whole seasonal light thing? In the summer the sun wakes me up early and we are still outside enjoying it at 9:00 at night. But now the tables are turned and we spend much of our waking hours in artificial light. I can't imagine how difficult this was in colonial times, when people had to spend the first few hours of their days in candlelight, cooking, and milking the cows. They must have longed for the summer when they had all that light to enjoy!

I don't mind the dark - it makes for cozy dinner parties and evenings in front of a fire. Without it we wouldn't be enjoying the Christmas lights that brighten our evenings and lift our spirits. It allows us to stay at home without guilt and settle in for simple nights of family time, or curling up with a good book. There's no "wasting daylight" to stress over, as my grandfather used to warn. Without the winter dark we'd never rest at all.

No, I don't mind the dark hours in the winter. But I do look forward to having the sun rise a little bit earlier. And I won't have to wait long since the days are beginning to get longer now.

All around

2011-12-22T05:26:00.033-05:00

Everyplace looks pretty right now. I've driven through Southampton, Sag Harbor, and Hampton Bays, and each one has its own personality and flavor. I saw an especially pretty window in Southampton that had a simple but beautiful menorah on one window, with a blue velvet background, and a small tree in the other with multicolored lights. It was delightfully lovely in its uncluttered state, and I noticed it right away as I drove through the village.

I have not yet made it to Sag Harbor and have to make sure I do before the holidays are past. I'll be going to my sister's for dinner on the 26th so if I haven't seen it by then I will that night. Sag Harbor is always unique.

I also haven't made it to Montauk yet and hope to get there to see the lighthouse in its best attire. I love that they light it so beautifully every December now and I know it's a tradition that will last forever now. Once started its hard to stop, as evidenced by the lighted windmills in the village. Only in the past few years have they all been lighted and now I can't imagine not doing it. Rounding the corner at Town Pond and seeing the Gardiner Mill, then only a short distance down the road the Home Sweet Home Mill, and of course the Hook Mill - well, its spectacular, that's for sure.

And the individual homes are equally lovely. I can't say I'm a big fan of the blow-up snowmen and santas, but I appreciate the spirit behind them! I do love the simple lights on houses, hedges, and trees everywhere. I past a house on Three Mile Harbor Road last week that had a long driveway going uphill (across from the harbor) and they had lights in the shape of stars hanging from trees all the way up the driveway. It was very effective!

I don't like to drive after dark - bad night vision is a side effect of wearing contact lenses - but I do love driving around and seeing what everyone does to make the holidays special. Even in the most isolated neighborhoods there are little oasis of decorations and they're so special.

Soon enough the winter dark and cold will totally envelope us for two months. Isn't it a wonderful thing that for now at least, the winter is held at bay by the cheer and joy of this special season? It allows us to deal with the winter and remember how blessed we are.

Waiting

2011-12-21T01:47:00.028-05:00

I really hate to waste time waiting. I don't like waiting in lines, or in "waiting rooms", or in my own house. I just hate wasting time!

Last week my upper respiratory infection had moved from being a cold to more of a bronchial thing. After a week of suffering my throat was feeling worse, not better, and it occurred to me that I needed to have a strep test. The last thing I needed was something worse as we got closer to Christmas so I needed to see a doctor. Now of course my first choice would always be to see my own beloved physician, but I feared since it was a Monday that there would be no openings to squeeze into so I was going to head to the walk-in clinic in Skimhampton. But then I thought I should at least call my doctor's office to see if there was a chance I could get in there - much easier than needing to give all my medical history to a strange office. So I called. I explained that I was about to go to the walk-in clinic and just wanted to make sure there was no chance of getting in to see my own doctor. Well, she said, the computers were down at the moment but as soon as they came back up she would let me know if they could squeeze me in. Great! I can get in to my own doctor's office. Now I had to wait for a call.

And I waited. And I waited. One hour, two hours.....what's up with those computers? Now I'm running out of things to do and everything else on my list for the day involved leaving the house. I can't even make phone calls because I don't have "call waiting" and can't afford to miss her call.

As I waited I thought about my options. Should I just leave and go to the walk-in? Would they call as soon as I walked out the door? At what point will it be too late? Too late to get my other errands done, too late to get a prescription filled, too late to get to the grocery store for something to eat for dinner??? Now this is the kind of stress I really try to avoid in my life. On this day it wasn't working.

I really hate waiting!

All fun...

2011-12-20T02:55:00.013-05:00

Today we're really down to the end of the road to Christmas day and from here on its all fun. All my major obligations have been met, all the gifts are wrapped and ready, I'm done with the entertaining and the cookie making and nothing I do from here on out is work. It's all fun.

I love the holidays and the period from Thanksgiving week to New Year's Day is my favorite. It's very busy and sometimes stressful but I still look forward to it every year because its all about love and friendship and family, and the warmth and kindnesses that emerge around town, and the beautiful decorations everywhere, make it really wonderful. Whatever the stress, it's well worth it.

Christmas day will be especially nice this year because a dear old friend will be staying at my house and joining us in all the celebrations. It's been many years since anyone other than family was here for Christmas - the last time was a visitor from Norway - and it adds a new dimension to the day. Plus, Christmas is on a Sunday this year, which means church gets added into the mix - another interesting change from the norm. I enjoy going to church on Christmas morning. After all, that's what its all about, right?

I'm looking forward to the next five days very much. Because its all fun from here!

Pedicures

2011-12-19T05:46:00.024-05:00

Sometimes a comment made by a reader will prompt a blog and that's the case today. I wrote a couple weeks ago about manicures and someone mentioned having a manicure and a pedicure for only $20. And that set a whole new thought process into motion.

I've never had a pedicure. Not that I haven't had the opportunity, because I have. I've been given many gift certificates over the years for places that do them, and I have daughters that try to get me to go with them for a "mani-pedi" date, but I have absolutely no desire to have one. Which makes me do some introspective probing about why I feel so strongly about it.

I've never liked the look of feet. I find them somewhat ugly, although certainly a wonderful and necessary part of the anatomy. I especially don't like my own. All the years I was growing up, I noticed how much nicer my friends feet were than mine. I have very wide (i.e.fat) feet - EEE width to be exact - with short, stubby, fat toes that are all about the same length, which give them the appearance of a rectangle. They are my father's feet and some of my children also inherited them. They call them "Flintstone feet" after Fred and Barney I suppose. I hide them as much as possible. I think that's one reason I don't want to expose them to anyone for close scrutiny.

I guess the other reason is the very nature of a pedicure. There is something that rings of servitude in the process to me, probably because of the Biblical accounts of foot washing and the explanation years ago by some forgotten Sunday School teacher that washing another person's feet was considered at the time to be the ultimate act of submission and respect. Seeing women at the feet of someone who sits in a big chair while their feet are washed, trimmed and decorated seems a bit awkward to me. I find it uncomfortable to see and I think it would be even more uncomfortable to experience. Weird, I know. But nonetheless, sometimes early impressions effect us forever and I guess this might be one of those cases.

Either way, I'm not ever going to have a pedicure. I see no reason to decorate my toes and bring undue attention to them, and I keep them well moisturized and neatly trimmed on my own. Not that anyone cares. But sometimes thoughts just need to be put on paper. Perhaps it legitimizes them. Perhaps it just exposes our frailties. Either way, I feel better putting it all out there...

Checking twice

2011-12-18T05:33:00.026-05:00

I learned long ago that Santa had the right idea: check things on your list twice. And my list is long right now. In fact, I've had so much to do lately that last week I sat down with a legal pad, pen, and calendar, and made daily lists for checking.

Normally everything on my day is listed on my weekly calendar. I buy the kind with pages that turn over so an open book shows one week. Each day I write the things I have to do: doctor's appointments, business meetings, business luncheons, board meetings, committee meetings, volunteer time....you get the idea. Because my schedule is so varied I need to write everything down because no day is ever the same. Even when I was younger and much sharper I couldn't hold it all in my memory so my calendar as always been essential in my life.

So for these past weeks in December I've made long, detailed daily lists. I've put approximate times next to each item and put everything in some sort of order than makes sense. If, for instance, I work a 7:30 to 9:30 shift at the hospital on Tuesday and have a noon meeting at Village Hall, I can most likely pick up the cleaning, do my grocery shopping, and get my prescriptions at the pharmacy between 10am when I get back into town and noon when I need to be someplace else. Then in parenthesis I'll add one or two more things that I might possibly be able to fit in if all goes well. If not, they'll move to the next day. Obviously those are things at the bottom of the priority list, like dropping gifts off for my daughter to take to Pennsylvania with her.

Well - you get the idea. Only in December do I have to get so detailed with my daily lists and right now I'm ready to turn the calendar to January and see all those nice blank pages looking back at me.

More stockings

2011-12-17T05:38:00.028-05:00

Every year on Christmas morning here in my house we opened gifts with our kids and then went next door to have breakfast with my mother and Aunt and Uncle. My father slept in and they were up and around so they made a nice breakfast and we'd eat there before going into the living room to open gifts. By then my father would be up and around and the kids would give their gifts out before they received theirs. The my uncle died and my aunt would come alone, all the way from Buffalo every Christmas, to be with the only family she had. Years went by and my father died. I would always invite Mom to come over to our home early (because I knew she was up!) and enjoy watching the kids open gifts here, but she said no, she and her sister would stay there and wait for us.

Eventually, the years took their toll and my aunt no longer made the trip downstate for the holiday. So Mom agreed to come spend Christmas morning with us. I went on to the Land's End website and bought her a needlepoint stocking to match the ones I'd been buying for my family as marriages and births continued to expand it, and I was ready for her Christmas morning. She seemed pleased to have her own Christmas stocking, which I understand since I've been filling everyone else's for so many years just the way she had.

Unfortunately, the following Christmas Mom was too sick to come over in the morning. She could barely get out of bed when I first went over, but with a heavy dose of pain killers and a bit more time in bed, she rallied enough to get dressed and go downstairs where she put on quite an act for the extended family as they trickled in to share what we all knew would be her last Christmas.

The following Christmas when I unpacked the stockings to be hung in the house, Mom's was on the top of the pile. I cried remembering her last holiday with us, and still feeling the sting of loss so sharply, and then hung it up with the rest of the family's. It's been up every year since. Appropriately enough, it has an angel on the front. I like to think she sees it too, and knows how much I wish she was still here to share the day with us. It's a sweet tribute to a very special person.

Stockings

2011-12-16T05:28:00.020-05:00

When I was a little girl, my mother spent what was a good deal of money (for her) and bought we four children really pretty Christmas stockings. They were felt, and I remember one - I think it was my brother's - was red with white felt reindeer and silver glitter. But mine was my favorite. It was a pretty green felt with white fur at the top and a white felt angel with the same kind of silver glitter trim. I adored that stocking. And I got excited every year when she took it down from the attic to hang somewhere in the house.

I always worried about the fact that there was no fireplace at our house and used to ask how Santa was going to find us without one. Mom would always assure me that Santa used doors when necessary and there wouldn't be any problem when it came time to deliver gifts. In our house Santa filled those stockings and brought one gift for each of us. The other gifts were properly designated as being from Mom and Dad or our grandparents, whichever the case might be. So again, the stockings were really a big deal.

I don't know what happened to my childhood stocking. I was hoping to find it in the attic when we cleaned it out after Mom died, but it didn't turn up. It was a disappointment because if I had it I know I would find a place of honor for it every year. It's one of my favorite childhood memories.

Parties

2011-12-15T03:41:00.028-05:00

This is party season for sure. I see people post about "cookie parties" and "Santa's helpers" parties and all sorts of other holiday get-togethers either to sell things or exchange things or just simply, and most importantly, to spend time together. Because this season is all about family and friends and the riches of our lives - not the monetary riches but the other ones.

I know that sometimes people get so hung up on the things that they don't have they can forget about the things they do. And just like the song says, "the best things in life are free". Well, that's not exactly true. They cost us money and they cost us in emotional investment, but they are well worth whatever we put into them. Because its our friends and our family that really matter at the end of every day.

There are so many stories of people who regretted the way they lived their lives, neglecting their families in favor of making money or pursuing other material things. I'm happy to say I will never feel that way and I know I did plenty of investing in the important things. I will die knowing I put most of my energy and love into non-material things, in spending time with my kids when they were growing up and with my grandchildren now as they are. And investing in friendships with amazing people who have enriched me in ways I could never have imagined years ago. Thankfully, I don't need to watch "A Christmas Carol" one more time to know my life mirrors Bob Cratchett's much more than it does Ebenezer Scrooge's.

My greatest Christmas wish for everyone this year is that they will be able to have the same peace of mind about their own life's investments when their years are done. Because that's what Christmas is all about: love for others greater than for ourselves and love that gives unconditionally. A babe in a manger, representing so much! Make this holiday special. And spread the love around.

Ten days

2011-12-14T05:25:00.003-05:00

Only ten days until Christmas Eve and now I'm getting nervous. I have lots to do between now and then, including a dinner party for 24, a luncheon for 7, a few more stocking stuffers to grab and some things to organize, food to shop for, a house to keep clean, and all the other things that go with the week before Christmas. When I get to this point in the holidays I always think about my old boss.

Every year, the last week before Christmas, my boss would start to think about shopping. He would talk about what he wanted to get for the people on his list and where he was going to go on Christmas Eve. Mind you, I worked in a church office, so Christmas Eve was a pretty busy time for this guy! Yet he left his shopping to do until the very last minute. I break out in hives just thinking about it.

Being a planner is a gift and a curse. I like being organized and planning things out. But it also puts too much pressure on myself because I'm always afraid I don't have enough time or I've forgotten something. I wish I could be a bit more laid back and easy-going about things, but its impossible. So I get stressed.

I think I'm well ready for everything to come. And yet....maybe I'm forgetting something.....oh boy.....

Sick days

2011-12-13T05:08:00.022-05:00

Last week I woke one day with a bad upper respiratory thing going on and it laid me low for a few days. Some of those things are worse than others and this one was no fun. It wasn't in my sinuses, but in my throat with a cough and scratchiness and made my voice sound more animal than human. And during those days I did just about everything on my "to do" list, opting out of only a few things to stay home and rest. And that made me think about something that's always bugged me.

I truly envy people who get to have "sick days". Those are the people who work in places where someone else takes over for them when they're not there, like teachers, police officers, executives, etc. When they call in sick a sub is put in their place and they can stay home in bed for even the slightest cold if they so choose. I've never had that privilege. I've never had a job with "sick days" - I usually got paid by the hour - and when I was out the work simply piled up for me to do when I got back. Even as a stay-at-home-mother I still had to get up, dress the kids, take care of them, feed them, etc. So never has it been an option to stay home with a cold! Simply not worth the trouble.

So I went about my business and got my work done, as I always have, and slept really well at night with the help of drugs and exhaustion. Yesterday I finally saw a doctor and now I'm on antibiotics so by this afternoon I should start to feel good again. But at the end of the day its all OK anyway. Because I'm glad to feel good most every other day of the year and that's a special blessing. A few days down aren't such a big deal!

Christmas decor

2011-12-12T05:02:00.002-05:00

Over the years I've managed to collect an interesting and eclectic array of Christmas decorations for my house. In the beginning I made almost everything I used, not only because money was tight but also because I liked the simple country look. Even after I could afford to buy some things I tended to be drawn to the primitive, folk art type things and many of my decorations are from those days.

I think if I were to go out and buy all new things I would tend to move more toward the Pier 1 style with lots of bling and sparkle, but still simple and elegant. In fact I was at the local Pier 1 last week to pick up some things because the gold ornaments that I bought thirty years ago (simple gold balls) have become tarnished looking and need to be tossed. So I wanted to pick up some things to fill in the tree where they would have been. I was looking for anything that would reflect light and sparkle in the sun as well as when the lights come on at night. I found some pretty mirrored stars and some glittery starfish and orbs that fit the bill nicely, and they're on the tree now. Since we started with all gold lights thirty+ years ago I had lots of gold then, but now that we've switched over to white lights I looked for bright, white and silvery things. I still have many homemade ornaments that came from various family members over the years, and I'll always use them. I've passed most of the children's creations on to them for their own children to appreciate as they get older, which I know they will!

There's nothing quite as beguiling as a beautifully lit Christmas tree. Mine will never match the glory of some simply because I appreciate the simple, meaningful pieces, including photos of my children in various forms. It may not be the most glamorous tree, but it evokes plenty of memories, and that's what a tree should do I think. Nothing is quite as sparkly and special as a tree full of love.

Around the village

2011-12-11T01:03:00.039-05:00

East Hampton is looking really festive these days. I love seeing the decorations, both municipal and private, as I drive around town. Everything looks great for the holidays.

I have one of the best possible views from my front windows. It may be a busy street and sometimes its very annoying to live here in the heart of all the traffic, but at this time of year I love it. I can see the tree over at the end of Methodist Lane and the tree in the Sheep Fold between Gay and Pantigo. I can also see the top of the lights at Hook Mill, on again this year. It's a beautiful spot to be!

One interesting thing about the lights now is the slow changeover to LEDs. As strands have to be replaced, the village has been investing in newer, LED ones. they are a bigger investment to start with but will last longer and use less energy every year. However, there is a distinct different in the colors of the LED lights. The tree at the end of Methodist Lane is LED and the one on Pantigo is of older lights. It's easy to see that the Pantigo tree is much warmer in colors, predominantly yellows and reds, while the LEDs are cooler tones, more blues and greens. In a trees the size of those two it is very evident. I assume we'll get used to the newer hues, but I'll admit to liking the old ones better.

The one tone in LEDs that I love is a beautiful lavender. We've seen it on trees at Longwood Gardens in Pennsylvania where they have huge Christmas displays. The color is lovely but I have yet to see it anywhere locally. I'd love to do an outdoor tree in my yard with them if I can ever find it.

When I grew up the trees along Main and Newtown were always multi-colored. There were lots of problems with kids unscrewing the bulbs and smashing them on the sidewalks because they were the old, big, screw-in bulbs. I remember the village had trouble keeping them replaced. So they made the decision to switch to all one color, making replacement easier, and suddenly the trees went blue. A huge controversy erupted and it lasted for years, until they finally changed them back to the multi-colored kind. Old-timers hated the blue because it wasn't what they were accustomed to. Newer community members loved it because it was different and unique. I can usually tell when folks arrived in East Hampton because they talk about missing the blue trees. I, of course, never liked the blue trees because they weren't East Hampton to me. I didn't hate them, but I was happy to have the colored ones back. At this point in my life though I think I could probably handle a change, but cost will keep that from happening I think.

Whatever your preference, its hard to deny that East Hampton is one beautiful place during the holidays. No doubt Currier and Ives would have been happy to spend time here creating prints of the winter wonderland all round us. All I need to do is glance out of my front windows to enjoy it.

Manicures

2011-12-10T05:27:00.033-05:00

I love getting a manicure. But I rarely do.

I've always had a love/hate relationship with my fingernails. I don't particularly like the shape and type of nails I have, plus because I'm not a lady of leisure I tend to break them off a lot. Just when one gets to a nice shape and size, it gets bent or caught and I end up having to cut it way back or file it into a weird angle to avoid it catching on things or breaking off completely. If I could just have someone to do all my housework it would help, but I don;t see that in my future. So they are never all the right size and shape. Which makes me not want to particularly bring attention to them.

But then again, not keeping them as manicured as possible could bring more attention to them, so I normally use a nice neutral pale pink or nude color just to give them a nice shine and polished look. I don't like to spend money on having them done professionally because it's such a waste of money, never lasting a week.

Occasionally I like to have them done for a special occasion. I love the way they are neatly finished off, cuticles cut back and looking really nice. But every time I do I find that at least one of them breaks within a couple days and then I'm kicking myself because I spent the money for nothing.

Last week there was a piece on "Good Morning America" about the latest trend in manicures: crazy colors like "army green" and snake skin. That's right, I said snake skin. They take the clear, shed skins from reptiles, cut them to fit the clients nails, and then glue them on over the color. It looks like your fingernails are actual snakeskin. Yuck! I'm not sure why this is a big trend right now but I personally find it rather abhorrent. I don't like snakeskin on or off snakes.

Well, since its the holidays I've been trying to keep my nails looking well cared for lately. Only two are filed down at an extreme angle at the moment and the rest are looking pretty good. I'm guessing that in about 3 weeks, when they grow out a little, I'll have a week of nice looking nails before another one goes....

Southampton Village

2011-12-09T05:55:00.003-05:00

Southampton Village really outdoes itself at Christmas now. Last year they began winding lights around many of the large elms and oaks along Main Street and Jobs Lane. I had occasion to drive through after dark last week one night, returning from Hampton Bays where I was attending an official function, and I couldn't help but smile as I approached on Hill Street and saw them from a distance. I drove up Jobs Lane enjoying every foot of it and then turned left on to Main Street just to drive through what is a real winter wonderland. It really is magical.

The streets are really illuminated by all those tiny lights and the trees are so big and majestic to begin with that they just look more magnificent all outlined and twinkling. In addition there is a sleigh and reindeer strung across the center of Main Street that's outlined in lights at night, but its really gilding the lily. Those trees do the job nicely all on their own.

I think Southampton really has the Christmas spirit and has found the perfect way to brighten all our lives during the holidays, both literally and figuratively. For anyone who hasn't seen it, I recommend a visit there in the next few weeks. I promise, it will make you smile!

Mothers-in-law

2011-12-08T05:12:00.033-05:00

Today was my mother-in-law's birthday. She never mentioned her birthday without adding "...the day after Pearl Harbor". She was a teenager when the Japanese attacked and it would have been a huge event in her life. Not only did her brother leave to serve, but she married a Coast Guardsman who was stationed in Amagansett, so it was certainly life-changing in many ways. Her late teens and early twenties were spent with a nation at war. She would forever after be a woman of peace. She hated war and never missed an opportunity to say so. When my husband's number came up in the lottery and it looked as though he might be called to serve in Viet Nam, unbeknownst to him, she made arrangements for him to go live with a friend of hers in Canada if his number came up. He had no idea until years later and fortunately it wasn't an issue. He was never called. In those days it wasn't looked on as an honor to serve - Viet Nam was a real divisive incident in the country's history and only those of us who lived through it understand it.

Anyway, my mother-in-law was a woman before her time. She was independent and smart and she could have been an executive had she been born at another era. As it was she didn't have a college education and never realized her full potential.

Of course she would not have said that. She loved being a mother and adored her family. I don't know what her innermost feelings were, but I think she was content with her life. I'm sure there were times when she was frustrated with the fact that her life was defined by her sex and the times, but she never verbalized that.

I was very lucky to have her in my life. Not only did she raise a wonderful man for me, she showed me that being a mother-in-law was a job in itself and takes hard work and love. I hope I learned my lessons well because I'd be pleased if my own daughters-in-law feel the same way about me some day that I feel about her...

Soup

2011-12-07T05:05:00.023-05:00

Last week we finished off the soup I made from the Thanksgiving turkey. It was delicious!

I love making soup out of leftovers. It's much more satisfying to me than making it from scratch because it's akin to making a quilt from scraps of fabric. I take the carcass and boil it down into a nice broth. Then take all the meat off the bones and add any leftover meat from the meal. Once all that is nicely roiling I chop up onions, celery, carrots, spinach - almost anything I happen to have in the refrigerator, the more different items the better. Corn in the freezer? Throw it in! Leftover zucchini in the veggie drawer? Chop it up and toss it in. I like a nice chunky soup that can be eaten with a fork as well as a spoon so everything in the house is fair game.

Of course the salt and pepper are a necessary evil and without it the taste would not be half as good, but I do try to leave it a bit under-seasoned, allowing everyone to add their own and avoid too much. (I always add more myself!)

Once the soup has simmered for hours and the house smells like heaven, the huge pot has to be cooled and put into smaller containers for the fridge. I used to add noodles or rice, but when I was recuperating from chemo a few years ago a friend brought home made soup for me and in a separate container she had tiny, cooked pasta. Acini de Pepe I think its called and it looks like little balls when it's cooked. Anyway, her instructions were to put some of that in a bowl and then spoon the hot soup over top. It was great and I've done that ever since. I fill the fridge with containers of pasta and soup and combine them for lunch and dinner all week long.

The weather hasn't really gotten as cold as normal for this time of the year and had it not been for Thanksgiving I probably wouldn't have made any soup yet. But it was delicious and I'm so glad I did! It's going to be a fun winter in the kitchen!

House hunters

2011-12-06T00:57:00.013-05:00

I enjoy watching all the shows on HGTV it seems, and I'm especially enjoying a show called "House Hunters International". It's actually an off shoot of the original show, which is "House Hunters" and followed people on their search for a home they could afford in a particular neighborhood. But the international version is a bit different.

On this version, people are looking for housing in places all over the world. Sometimes the budget is tight, for people relocating for business reasons and needing to find a place in a city like Jerusalem, for instance. But many of the shows are about people looking for vacation homes in amazing tropical places like Hawaii or Costa Rica. It's like a fantasy show for me. I can't even afford to visit those places, no less buy a second home there! these couples, or families, go from house to house comparing the beautiful views and amazing amenities, and deciding which place they want to buy. Of course they all look perfect to me, but when you're spending two or three million dollars, I guess you can afford to be picky! They often like the house in one spot but the view in another, so at the end of the day its all about how they want to compromise.

I watch this show for the fantasy value but I need to sometimes remind myself that I happen to live in a place that people spend a lot of money to own a second home in, so I shouldn't allow myself to become too envious. Otherwise it could get depressing. But how amazing would it be to own a vacation home in Aruba or Bermuda and just jump on a plane whenever the spirit strikes. Ah, now that's really living!

The tree

2011-12-05T05:45:00.003-05:00

The tree has been up all week and I'm loving it. I really adore Christmas trees. There's something so cheerful about having one in your house, tiny lights all over it and ornaments that remind you of people and places and special events. No doubt if there was always one up we'd be used to them and they wouldn't be such a novelty, but since its only one month out of every year, it's very special.

This year the sun porch has been cleaned and organized and that means there's space there for the tree so that's where it is. I love having it out there because I can see it at night when I'm watching TV, but it's not taking up space in our small living room. It's also visible from the street which is an added bonus. When my mother lived next door I liked having it in the family room because I knew she could enjoy it from her kitchen window at night, but no one else could see it there unless they drove into our driveway. In the sunporch, everyone can enjoy it when they pass the house at night.

When I was young all Christmas lights were big fat things in multicolors. I remember when the first small ones came out they were greeted with mixed feelings. But they soon caught on and now everyone uses them, with the possible exception of a few nostolgic folks still clinging to the old ones. There's something wonderful about the way the tiny bulbs twinkle from between the brances, blinking and winking as you pass them.

We also have an outdoor tree that we've lit the past few years but this year it needed to be re-done. We've left the lights on it year round so some of the strands now need to be replaced and its easier to re-do the entire tree. So that's the project this year and my husband and son have already spent a few hours on it. They put strands on, then wait until dark to see how it looks, then work to fill in the spots that need more. It's a work-in-progress and will be done by this weekend I think. It's the most beautiful when there's snow on the ground, but I'm not wishing for that yet. Maybe in a couple weeks.

I love all the lights at Christmas!

Schedules

2011-12-04T00:23:00.003-05:00

This is really a busy time oif the year and I always find myself pretty frustrated about the fact that there are so many events on the calendar for the town and not nearly enough time to participate in them all. I want to do everything.

Here's a typical conversation I have with myself every week in December when The Star comes out. "Hmmmm" (I think as I'm reading through the articles) "...let's see now....there is a wreath-making workshop in Bridgehampton Saturday. That would be fun to go to...I could make a wreath for the back door...." (and then to the next page) "....oh look at that - a Chrismas Stroll around the village...that would be fun to do......" and then "I would love to go to that concert Saturday night" and "I wonder if I can get to that church to see their pageant Sunday...."

I want to do it all and be part of it all and alas, there are already things on the calendar. So my conversation also includes "Oh no, that's the same time as our choir rehearsal" and "oh darn it - we have to go to that Open House that night" - why can't we spread it all out just a little bit longer?

My calendar is full this month and its all wonderful stuff. But there just aren't enough days on the page to get it all in. I don't mind being busy because there will be plenty of time in January to sit back and relax. For now I'm just going to keep running...

Streetlights

2011-12-03T05:28:00.024-05:00

For the past two weeks or so I've watched as the village crews worked to get the lighting done along Main Street. They have to string all the electrical wire, along Main and Newtown, which they did two weeks ago. Then this week they began setting the trees out, stringing the lights to connect to those wires, and getting everything in place for the Santa Parade today. Traditionally the lights are turned on today. I know many of the shops have been done for weeks now, but the official village lights only started appearing this week.

It takes weeks for the crews to get all the lights up. It used to be only the street trees, the one in Town Pond, and the one down in front of the post office, but over the years they've added more. Now they also hang lights on the large pine tree near the railroad tracks on Methodist Lane, and the arms of all three village windmills. It takes them a long time to get them up and then a long time to take them all down again. But I think it's one of the greatest pleasures of living here. I look forward to it every year and watching them start the preparations before Thanksgiving just adds to the anticipation.

From now through January 1st the windmills will be standing with pride along Main Street, lights reaching to the sky and reminding us of our heritage here in East Hampton. And those street trees, a long-held tradition here, may cause controversy when any little change occurs (like the color of those lights!) are a wonderful piece of tradition that make all those of us who have spent our entire lives in East Hampton feel very much at home. Some traditions are well worth keeping forever.

Choppers

2011-12-02T04:44:00.017-05:00

I used to have a fantasy that involved one day owning a motorcycle and driving cross country with my husband - each of us on our own bike, seeing the country up close and personal. I think the metro area is not the best place to be biking, but once into the mid-west with the open plains and corn fields, I think it would be heaven. But twenty years as an EMT on the local volunteer ambulance has cooled this particular fantasy. We call motorcycle drivers "organ donors". Enough said.

But the fantasy still rolls around in my brain every once in awhile and I suppose that's why I've enjoyed watching "Orange County Choppers" over the years. I found the family dynamic fun and interesting and loved seeing all the bikes and how they were fabricated.
As anyone who's watched this show on TLC can tell you, its lost some of its appeal these past few years because of the family feud and break-up. The dynamic is changed and its not as much fun as it used to be. I still watch it but tend to fast-forward through a lot of the soap opera that dominates the show now. Father and son don't even speak and I just don't want to know how they feel about each other. As far as I:m concerned there are big egos at work and someone needs to be the bigger man and let it all go. But in any case - its not what it used to be.

I think since I can no longer allow myself the fantasy of crossing the country on a bike, I'll have to settle for watching old reruns of "Easy Rider" on television. Maybe I should buy myself a copy - it must be out on DVD, right?

Houses

2011-12-01T05:35:00.034-05:00

Last weekend was the Historical Society's annual Holiday House Tour here in East Hampton. I was on the committee that planned the very first of these house tours. It wasn't much of a committee really, there were only three of us: two members of the board and the society's director. We sat in the beautiful Main Street home of the other board member, who lived in one of the most beautiful and historic homes in the historic district, and talked about how we could possible raise some funds by talking a few folks into letting a couple hundred people traipse through their homes on Thanksgiving weekend. He was willing to open his home and he know some of his neighbors......and so it began.

That first year (probably at least eighteen or twenty years ago now) the Saturday after Thanksgiving was cold. I think it was less than 10 degrees outside. I was stationed inside the door at the grand house that started it all, and could only allow fifteen people inside at a time. Let me tell you, there were some unhappy people standing on that porch at times! It was a good experience for me in being stern yet friendly, not an easy task! But the tour was a great success and we've been doing it ever since.

I worked at those house tours every year for many years. However, when my kids began leaving home to live on their own and Thanksgiving became a time when they all came home, I became less willing to give up an entire Saturday afternoon to work. So now I've started a new tradition and my daughter and I attend the house tour when she's here over the holiday. This year's was exceptional, with weather more like Spring than late fall and the temperature climbing into the low 60s. No coats necessary and no hard feelings if anyone had to wait outside for a few minutes! The houses were amazing, and as we do every year we "oohed" and "aahed" over the spacious rooms and gorgeous decor. There are always ideas to bring home and we love seeing the beautifully appointed spaces. It's like a little fantasy for an afternoon, going from house to house, each more lovely than the other, and thinking about how wonderful it would be to live in them.

No doubt I will work at future house tours. But for now I'm happy to attend them, grabbing little glimpses of how some lucky people live here in East Hampton. And raising lots of money for the historical society in the process! As Martha would say, "It's a good thing!".

Years

2011-11-30T05:34:00.004-05:00

Thirty-seven years. As of today, that's how long I've been living with the same person. Wow.

When I married my husband I was twenty-two years old. For a long time now I've been married longer than I lived as a single person. When I think about just how long its been it boggles my mind a little because in so many ways it seems like yesterday. Our lives become more of a puzzle as we age, our early experiences still so fresh in our minds as though they only just happened. It seems odd that so many years have passed. Weren't we just planning our wedding? And then our family? And now here we are with grandchildren. Somehow it doesn't all compute. When old memories are as fresh as new ones it really is difficult to get our minds around sometimes. One of the problems with aging!

Well I feel very fortunate to still be married after thirty-seven years, and even more fortunate to still be enjoying my life. I have few regrets and none of them have to do with who I married! He's not perfect, by any means, and I would never tell anyone marriage is a bed of roses! It's a real challenge and takes work - and the right combination of people to make it last. Some of it is pure luck. I fully accept the fact tha anyone who could live with me all these years has to be pretty rare. Most people would have walked a long time ago.

So today is a milestone. Not in anyone else's mind of course, but in my life it is. And I imagine my children are pleased that we're still together, as much in love as we ever have been. I am fascinated at the way love evolves over the years in a marriage. Different - but not better or worse - just different as the years pass. Marriage may not be easy but it's definately worth the effort, and after nearly forty years it's richer and more satisfying in many ways. It's becoming a rare thing to be married this long. There's something very comforting about knowing it can be done.

Decorating

2011-11-29T05:14:00.003-05:00

Having the grandchildren here over Thanksgiving was a real boost in the decorating department. They helped put up the Christmas tree, hang the stockings, and get the wreaths on the windows on the front of the house. We're way ahead of last year already!

This week I'll need to get the rest of the decorations down and do up the house with all the little touches I love, like the holiday throw pillows and table runner. I like to do the mantel with greens and pine cones and I love having lots of candles everywhere. So there's still plenty to do. But getting the tree up is huge and this week we'll start lighting the outdoor tree, which is wound with lights on all the branches. From the outside the house will be done. I think I'm getting into the holiday spirit!

So....I need to address cards and get my calendar organized...we're staring December 1st in the face now. Time to get serious.

Lights

2011-11-28T05:13:00.025-05:00

In the past, no Christmas lights were seen on the streets until after Thanksgiving. I noticed two weeks ago some of the windows in the village were being decked out for Christmas, with trees and snow and lights galore. It seemed a bit early and I wished the would wait a bit. I remember well from my years working in the village, that one week after Thanksgiving weekend was the Santa parade so all the stores would be hustling to get their windows done up in time for that. The fist Saturday in December was the day that all the lights were turned on, from the trees that lined the streets to the storefronts and business windows. Wreaths appeared on doorways and the windmills and within a week East Hampton was transformed into a beautiful little Christmas village. No longer!

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around most the stores were already decorated. So many are corporate stores now and they are done by professionals. Again, not like the old days! I remember decorating many shop windows in my lifetime - places I worked summers or part time - or knew the owners who were familiar with my flair for the dramatic. I loved decorating for the holidays! No one would think of hiring someone to do that task! But now its more the norm than not in East Hampton. The windows are gorgeous of course, but I will admit to missing the simple ones from my childhood: a decorated tree, perhaps a Santa - nothing spectacular, but simple and nice.

I think the difference between the East Hampton of my childhood and the East Hampton of today is never any more evident than in the window decorations at Christmas. It seems like a small detail but it jumps out at me ever year. Things have changed. The windows are beautiful but I can't shop in the stores. It's like when I was a kid and my mother would say "Look but don't touch! We can't afford to buy it!".

Quiet

2011-11-27T03:50:00.017-05:00

The house is going to be quiet today because the family is all leaving. The energy and excitement that the little ones bring will leave with them and we'll be left to smile over the memories of yet another great Thanksgiving. What a full and wonderful week its been.

Now I'll take advantage of the quiet and make sure I'm organized for the next weeks. I am a "list" person and once I get everything on a list I immediately feel more relaxed and in control. I will make my lists today in the quiet of this house. I'll make lists of things I still need to buy, places I need to go, appointments coming up, meetings, etc - and I'll put everything in prioritized order. And by tonight I'll feel as though I am going to breeze through December and most probably, I will.

Being organized is what I'm all about.

The starting bell

2011-11-26T03:41:00.025-05:00

I sort of think of Thanksgiving as a sort of "starting bell" - like the bell that used to ring in school to let us know it was time to change classes. The bell rings and we immediately jump into action, in this case, thinking and planning for Christmas. The bell rings and we head off in all directions, busy doing all the things that go with making this a wonderful time of the year.

I have most of my shopping done and have even wrapped many of the gifts. I need to do that because I buy over 50 and if I waited until the very last minute I just couldn't do it. Or, I'd be busy doing that alone and nothing else would get done. I prefer to participate in as many holiday events as I possibly can and count entertaining as one of my greatest pleasures. I love to have a houseful of company. I have a sign in my kitchen that says "Love, laughter and friends always welcome" and that's the way I feel. My back door is always open and I love seeing friends and family walk through it. So for me, the holidays are all about being with people we love.

So the starting bell has sounded. Time to start baking cookies, sending out invitations, finish wrapping and planning, and keep running forward toward the goal. And the goal? The goal is always the celebration of life and love. Let's go!

Gatherings

2011-11-25T04:18:00.003-05:00

This is a day when families begin dispersing, heading home after yesterday's holiday. It saddens me that my extended family has become so large we no longer get together for the major holidays, but thankfully we all live close by and see each other regularly anyway. Yesterday, while I was wishing I could see those that weren't at my house, I remembered something I hadn't thought about in while.

When I was young I worked as a travel agent. The only other people in the office were the older couple who had founded the business, probably in their late 50s or early 60s at the time. Because we worked so closely every day I became quite close to them and we knew a lot about each others' lives. He had been in the diplomatic service under King Farouk of Egypt and when the king was overthrown he was unable to return. He had married an American girl from San Francisco and they had been living the high life in New York City, in an apartment at the Waldorf Astoria, but suddenly everything was gone: his money, his career, his family. So they came out to East Hampton to the only home they owned, a small house near Montauk Highway on Egypt Lane. And since they were well-traveled and knew the world, they opened a travel agency.

They were interesting people and I grew very fond of them over the years. But the one thing that seemed so foreign to me was their holiday celebrations. They spent all their holidays alone, just the two of them, cooking a capon with stuffing and gravy instead of a turkey. I was used to huge family gatherings, with aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents in abundance. To me, their experience didn't even seem real to me. What kind of holiday was that?

Over the years I've learned the holidays are all about being with people you love. Mine are still full of family, spanning the generations like a Normal Rockwell cover on the Saturday Evening Post. But honestly. as long as I was with someone I loved, I'd be content. Just like my former co-workers, I would enjoy being with anyone I cared about, whether one or one hundred. I love having lots of people around on these special days, but if I were ever to find myself with a small crew, I think I could handle it. I'd think about my old friends, long gone now both of them, and the way they celebrated their holidays with each other, together. How lucky were they!?

Giving thanks

2011-11-24T05:04:00.046-05:00

Many years ago our ancestors were smart enough to realize that they needed to take time out of our lives to give thanks to God for their good fortune. And we have gratefully continued that tradition in this county in the form of a national day of thanks. It's a non-denominational. ecumenical occasion to stop for one day and think about our lives and all that make them full and blessed. There are few in this country that don't have something to be grateful for. There may be poverty here and there will always be loss and grief among us, but most of us have an abundance of the things we need to sustain and enrich our lives: food, family, friends, and shelter. We pride ourselves as Americans on taking care of each other and generously helping those less fortunate. For the most part we succeed.

Whenever I find myself wishing for some material thing or another, a new car for instance, or an updated bathroom, all I need to to is stop for a moment and think about the fact that the majority of the world's population doesn't even own a car or have indoor plumbing. I am always humbled.

Besides, I have people around me that I love, I have a more-than-adequate roof over my head, and I have more food than is even healthy for me, otherwise I wouldn't need to attend Weight Watchers meetings on a regular basis. In short, I have nothing I need. I have an embarrassment of riches. I think, actually, we all do.

So this day, this national day of thanksgiving, may we not only be grateful for what we have, but may we not take it all for granted either.

Have a wonderful day!

Our town

2011-11-23T05:49:00.032-05:00

East Hampton is still, in so many ways, a small town. I was reminded of this again last Saturday night when we went to the Amagansett Firehouse for dinner.

Last month a fire at Scoville Hall left the Amagansett Presbyterian Church, along with many community groups, without its wonderful meeting hall. Sunday School classes and church offices were taken away as well as the place the church met for meals, and space for so many other organizations also disappeared overnight. Among those that were displaced, and also lost many valuable records and artifacts, was the Masons. They had been meeting there for years and some of their relics were gone in the blaze. Last Saturday night they put on a spaghetti dinner to raise money to help the church rebuild. I was impressed by the fact that they weren't looking to pay for the replacement of their own lost items, but to assist in the church's effort to make a new and improved place for community members to gather. So we bought some tickets and took some friends down at 6:00.

There was a long line at the door to get seating. The dinner started at 5 and we arrived at 6 and as some folks finished and left, others took their places. Hundreds of tickets had been sold and many more people came in off the street so the place was packed. As Masons ran back and forth carrying large trays of spaghetti and meatballs to the diners, old friends and acquaintances chatted amiably at tables and while waiting in line. No one seemed annoyed or put out by the long wait for a place to sit and there was laughter and banter coming from every direction. I recognized nearly every face, if not by name at least by sight. This was a small community at its very best, coming together to support each other in an effort to do something good for the whole. There was no mention of church affiliation or special membership and no one cared that it was noisy and crowded. It was all of us together, making our town a better place simply by caring enough to make the effort to be there. It wasn't only about the financial contribution, it was about the fact that we were all making a simple statement: A part of our community has been hurt and when part hurts we all hurt and we're all going to work together to get the healing process moving.

This was only the first of what I'm sure will be many events aimed at rebuilding Scoville Hall. I hope to be at many of them. Because there's no better feeling in the world than being part of a community like this one.

Baking

2011-11-22T04:11:00.001-05:00

I love to bake and the holidays are among my favorite times because I get to bake almost non-stop. As a lover of every type baked good ever invented, it's a downfall of mine for sure, but the holidays are perfect because most everything is either given away or used up for parties. I freeze cookies by the dozen and use them for hostess gifts and Christmas give-aways. So its the best of both worlds - I get to bake to my hearts content and rarely over-indulge.

In the coming weeks I'll be making spritz, chocolate chips, pinwheels, brownies, checkerboards, pecan balls, etc, and filling the freezer to the top with plastic bags full of colorful goodies. But before that can happen I need to clean out that freezer and that's my job for today. Some things will get tossed - others eaten - and I'll have lots of room for my yummy creations that I'll fill in no time at all. It's one of my holiday traditions that I especially enjoy.

This week marks the real beginning of the best time of the year. We all have our traditions and family favorites and we love the things that make us feel grounded and content. It's a wonderful time of life, and I'm going to savor every moment of the next month, celebrating family and friends, and of course, the reason for the season.

Gabby Giffords

2011-11-21T00:06:00.018-05:00

Last week I watched a special about Congresswoman Gabby Giffords. She's the one who was shot in Arizona last spring, suffering a severe head trauma and yet miraculously survived. What an inspiration she is.

She is now, after months of long and difficult physical therapy, walking and talking quite well. She is able to communicate and they are predicting that she'll make a great recovery in time. The most striking thing to me was her indomitable spirit. She is an amazing woman.

I truly strive to be the kind of person Gabby Giffords is. I want to be a fighter who never gives up and always faces life's adversities with a smile. She isn't angry or bitter, she's just working hard to deal with the cards she's been dealt. I want to be like that. I know I need to work hard to get there. But I am trying.

I wish we could bottle up the spirit of Gabby Giffords. If anyone ever personifies the American spirit its her. How fitting that she serves as s congresswoman in her home state. They're so lucky to have her.

Late night

2011-11-20T03:54:00.019-05:00

I am often a restless sleeper. If I'm stressed, or worried, or simply juggling too many things at the same time, I have trouble getting to sleep. So I often put a robe on and go downstairs to wile away some hours in front of the television and using the laptop.

What always strikes me is the peacefulness of the nighttime. When I look out my front windows the lights are bright on the street - one of the realities of life in the village where I can see commercial properties from my house. So the night is always illuminated here, but still peaceful. Few cars pass by and the field across from us is empty and still. Sometimes the wind howls but usually its very quiet.

If I'm up at midnight there is still some decent television on but once we move into the early morning hours of 3 and 4 the offerings are pretty sad. I can buy anything at anytime between the shopping channels and the paid advertisements at that hour, but there aren't any funny men to keep me entertained.

Sometimes I wish my husband would join me but he is a sound sleeper and it just as well. I'd like his company and someone to talk to but would feel guilt later when he struggled to stay awake at work. I wish I had a telephone buddy who I could call to share my late night worries but I don;t think I'll resort to any of the phone services out there. That;s a road I don;t think I'd like to go down!

So I simply enjoy the night for its peacefulness. And maybe that sense if peace will spread my way and help me finally drift off into a blessed and needed sleep. One can only hope!

Humankind

2011-11-19T02:21:00.020-05:00

I was so touched recently by the contrast between the good and bad in humankind. One minute I was so depressed and angry over the stupidity and arrogance of one person and the next I was marveling at the goodness of another. It was enough to bolster my faith in this race of ours.

We have a small rental apartment that belongs to my extended family. It's a modest place that we've tried to use to help provide affordable housing to some local single or couple. In September a young man rented it and was immediately a problem. Clearly it was being used as more of a flop house than a living space and we let him know in November that he had to leave. The day we re-entered the space to evaluate it for the next tenant, I was disgusted beyond belief. He had left it with hundreds of dollars worth of damage. Most of it was simply of the retribution type, like taking the elements from the stove and all the light bulbs. It saddened me that anyone would be so horrible. It depressed me that anyone could be so vile.

The same day I got word that someone who barely knew my daughter had extended himself in an unusual and very generous way. It was as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly I realized that good is made more profound by the bad. And life sweeter by the bitter. Life is too short to be angry or bitter. And there is too much good in the world to be overshadowed by the bad.

Perfectly fine

2011-11-18T03:42:00.037-05:00

I'm so enjoying the weather this fall. Despite the lack of foliage, its been a really wonderful season, with warm days and cool nights and lots of beautiful scenery. The grass is still nice and green and the sky still a lovely blue, but the days are shorter and shorter and the temperature slowly finding its way to the lower end of the thermometer.

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. Most of the family will be here and the house will be full for most of the week. The kids will keep us busy and they'll help with the holiday preparations. I look forward to having the kids around the kitchen and always love the company during the early morning hours.We'll be industriously making pies and cakes and they'll most likely love helping get the tables set and ready. Daisy is nearly ten now and she's a great help in the kitchen, jumping in wherever she can to lend a hand. Tucker and Lucy, ages six and five, will be all too happy to decorate I'm sure. It's always fun to have the kids in the house. And having my daughter is a special treat, with lots of mother/daughter time.

Holidays are the best and next week is the kick-off to six weeks of non-stop busy, crazy, wonderful fun. I can't wait.

Mom

2011-11-17T04:50:00.019-05:00

This would have been my mother's 86th birthday. I run into people that age all the time - why couldn't she have lived 86 years?

I see my mother in faces everywhere - at the hospital, on the street, in the grocery store. I find myself going out of my way to be kind to elderly ladies about the age she would be now, holding doors open and offering to help them with bags or other things. It seems as though by reaching out to them, I'm somehow touching my own mother's. Silly, I know, but nonetheless true. It's been nearly five years since her death and yet she still appears around corners every so often. And when I see people who remind me of her, who are the age she should be, I think about life and what a puzzle it all is.

My faith tells me that there are mysteries which we will never - can never - understand. Death is one of them. Who decides the number of our days, and what are we to make of the grief when loved ones are taken from us? I look forward to the day when I can ask God the many questions I have, especially about death. But in the meantime I simply give it all over to the one who knows the answers and hope one day to get them for myself.

Certain dates are always meaningful to us and this will always be one for me. This is the day my mother was born in 1925, a very auspicious occasion indeed. And how grateful we are, her four children, thirteen grandchildren, sixteen great-grandchildren, and various spouses, for what that day meant to us. Just as Clarence the angel says in "It's a Wonderful Life", "Each life touches so many others that when they're gone they leave a terrible hole." I just wish she could have been with us a little bit longer. But then, with people we love, is it ever long enough?

Cheated

2011-11-16T03:05:00.018-05:00

I feel a little cheated in terms of the fall colors this year but the weather has been so gorgeous I hate to complain.

Every year when September rolls around I start anticipating the fall foliage. I love the beautiful colors and the way they mix in the wooded areas. A lone tree, bright yellow and stately, is beautiful too. But the riot of colors that greet the eye when you drive through Northwest or along Route 114 is the best. But this year it wasn't to be.

Between Hurricane Irene and the Halloween week-end storm, there were few leaves left to change and those that were had already wilted from salt damage and wind. I was hoping for the best despite the stormy weather, but no. Oh there were a few really nice areas of color and some trees are still now turning - my Japanese maples are a beautiful golden orange right now - but the real glorious autumn was lost to us this year.

Luckily, there's always next year!

My watch

2011-11-15T02:53:00.027-05:00

I wear cheap watches - normally Timex to be exact - because I think they work well and I don't need anything fancier. Last week my watch stopped and it made me realize how dependant we are on them! I know many younger people no longer wear them because they use their cell phones to tell the time, but I can't imagine not having my watch to glance at when needed.

My one gripe about my watches is that its so difficult to change the batteries and I usually just end up buying new. Besides, by the time I get a new band and new battery, which usually both need replacing at the same time, I may as well get a new watch because I'd be spending as much money. I have a few requirements: I want a leather band because I find the expandable bands to be uncomfortable; I want an analog dial because I hate the looks of digital; and I need to have an indiglo dial that will light up when I need to see what time it is in the middle of the night. Having really bad eyesight makes checking time difficult without glasses but I can put the watch right in front of my face and usually see it OK. Oh and one more thing - it must have a second hand so I can get someone's pulse on the ambulance when necessary. So there are all my requirements. The tricky thing is finding one with everything I need.

My husband has given me a beautiful dress watch which I use whenever we go out someplace nice - I worry about when the battery goes though. I know what a pain it is to change them out.

I used to be able to buy Timex watches at K-Mart but haven't had any luck there the last few times so I went to Amazon.com, found what I needed, and had it shipped overnight. By the next day I was able to replace my old one and I know this one will be good for at least a year. At $23 it's a decent investment.

Fog again

2011-11-14T04:58:00.012-05:00

Last Wednesday I woke up to a world completely enveloped in fog. It was like something out of a Stephen King novel and I fully expected at any moment some strange creatures would begin walking out of the dense mist and begin taking over the town. It was the heaviest fog I've seen in a very long time around here.

Once the sun was up it was hard to see across the street. I could make out cars passing in front of the house but not much else. Everything was gray, gray, gray, and I was thankful I didn't have to be anyplace anytime soon. It was a relief not to have to go out in the car and crawl along Montauk Highway.

By 9am the fog had pretty much burned off and the sun was shining brightly. It was another beautiful autumn day on the East End and the fog was only a memory.

The hospital

2011-11-13T04:10:00.042-05:00

I was recently asked to join the board of directors of the Southampton Hospital, and it didn't take too much thought for me to agree. I've watched with admiration as the new CEO and his more-than-competent administrative staff have turned what was a tragic situation when a previous administration left the hospital in dire financial straits into a triumphant story of "the little institution that could". Not only is it now winning awards for excellence in many areas, but the finances have been stabilized and turned around. It's a real tribute to the smart leadership in place now, so it was easy to jump on board.

I was glad to get involved for the simple reason that our hospital, just like the schools and churches that are the heart and soul of our community, is an institution that, for people like me who have lived their entire lives here on the East End, is part of the very fabric of our lives. It's who we are and where we've come from. It's full of nostalgia and emotion. After all, I was born in that hospital. I gave birth there, I spent hours there with my 5-year-old when he was diagnosed with diabetes, I sat with grandparents who died there, visited friends who were healed there, had extensive surgery there myself, and now visit brand new grandchildren there. A hospital , by its very nature, is part of our stories, our history, our emotions. And all of us who live here deserve to have it be the best possible community hospital that it can be. Because when an emergency comes, we need it to be there for us.

Since I've become a member of the board I've toured the entire plant, from the sewage treatment facility to the old solarium that was part of the original building over 100 years ago. That glassed-in room on the roof is no longer accessible to patients because of modern fire codes, but as I stood there looking through the huge picture windows at the view all the way to the ocean, I couldn't help but wonder if my mother had ever been in there when she was recovering from her three cesarean sections, a young woman in the prime of her life, looking out at the world she was bringing us into. I wish she was still here to ask. In those days women having c-sections were hospitalized at least a week, so I wouldn't be surprised.

So far, five generations of my family have been patients in that hospital. I hope many more to come will be as well taken care of. And I'm honored to be part of the team now.

Blue Bloods

2011-11-12T04:58:00.002-05:00

One of the new shows I love on television this season is "Blue Bloods". I wasn't sure I would initially because I've had my fill of cop shows. It seems like every season has at least 4 or 5 and sometimes the gunshots and murders get to me. I prefer more positive things in my life and sometimes these shows are so dark they bring me down. But I started watching this one because it was going to star Tom Selleck. I've been a fan of his since his "Magnum P.I." days (we got our son's name from that show!) and usually try to watch everything he's in. He's aged nicely and I still find him as handsome and compelling as he was when he was younger.

So I started watching to see how Tom was doing, but I stayed because I found a well-drawn drama with a magnificent cast. I love the scenery in and around Manhattan and I enjoy the various characters. I'm even willing to overlook some of the things that bother me, like the difference in accents within the same family (why would one have a heavy New York accent and not the others?). And the thing I'm really enjoying about it is the thread of family that is woven throughout ever week's episode. Tom Selleck is the NYC Police Commissioner. Two of his sons are cops and his daughter an assistant District Attorney. His father, the patriarch of the family, was a former cop and lives with Selleck, who is a widower. And every Sunday, like clockwork, they have dinner together - the whole bunch of them. There are the two sons, one single one married, one divorced daughter, a daughter-in-law, three kids, father and grandfather, all sitting around a table sharing a meal, arguing, laughing, and loving each other. They are Irish-catholics who attend church and say grace at their meals. In short, they are a normal, family-oriented people who are just like the rest of us. They just happen to be in the family business of public service in law-enforcement.

So finally we have a normal family on television. How can that be? I only know I enjoy watching it every Friday night - especially the final moments when they're sitting around that table just like real, regular people. Not a baffoon or clown among them, and no crazy ones either. It's a breath of fresh air.

Geese

2011-11-11T05:51:00.016-05:00

Last week (I forget where I was exactly - somewhere near open fields probably) - I heard the unmistakable sound of geese flying south for the winter. The honking sound as they pass overhead is so indicative of the season and I love it, but this time it was more like a cacophony and I turned my head up to see what was happening. The sky was full of geese, not flying in formation in the normal v-shape, but just all heading in the same direction and filling the sky like a scene out of "The Birds".

I had no idea where they had come from but assumed they were all leaving a nearby lawn or field where we see them grazing in huge flocks this time of the year. They were either spooked, or their stomachs were full, and as a group they headed skyward, soon to break into smaller formations heading south. The racket was tremendous and it was really a sight to see. I don't think I've ever experienced something like that quite so up close and personal. Boy did it ever seem like winter was coming!

I love the way the animals prepare for the seasonal changes, like clockwork making their way into winter quarters and storing up food to get them through the bleak months. We, along with them, do the same - putting our summer furniture away, raking our yards, trimming our bushes, and cleaning our furnaces. We're not all that different really. Creatures using our instincts and intellect to prepare for what's ahead. Winter is coming on. If we're not ready we'll be sorry soon enough.

Indian Summer

2011-11-10T04:00:00.017-05:00

I don't know exactly where the term "Indian summer" comes from, and I have no idea whether or not its still considered politically correct to use it, but we are surely in the midst of one! This week has been beyond gorgeous, with sunny, beautiful days warming up to June levels of temperatures in the high 60s. It's amazing for November.

I have always loved autumn here on the East End. It seems as though we have the perfect combination of quiet, empty streets and wonderful, comfortable weather. We see friends and neighbors that we haven't seen since before the summer, in their yards working, in the grocery store, and eating dinner in any of the restaurants that have been too busy to frequent for months. We're a community at last - and a small one at that. Anyone who thinks East Hampton is no longer a tight knit group of families needs to come spend a few weeks in October and November to see they're wrong. I can't tell you how many faces I've been able to smile at in recognition lately! I can't always attribute names to those faces, but I know they're local and I know they're friendly. We belong here and we love where we live.

And this week has been the perfect autumn week for East Enders. The lovely blue is still dominant in the sky, not yet replaced by the grayer tones of winter. The clouds float lazily along, a wonderful backdrop for the geese on the wing and the early evening shadows falling. It's warm enough for a light jacket by noon and in fact, I've been walking in and out of the house with only a flannel shirt over a tee, the perfect weight to cover my arms from the slight chill. No boots, no coat, no scarf.

Have I mentioned how much I love the autumn in East Hampton?

Pelican

2011-11-09T01:59:00.002-05:00

I think I wrote a blog about the Pelican disaster a couple years ago but last weekend I attended a lecture by my friends and author Tom Clavin who wrote "Dark Noon', a compelling account of what happened on that fateful day in the fall of 1951. So I'm moved to talk about it again.

It was a beautiful morning when the fishing boat "The Pelican" left the dock in Montauk, overloaded with people who loved to fish and wanted to bring home some bounty. What happened that day was a sad series of bad decisions and unbelievable bad luck. The boat was overloaded, the weather turned bad, one of the engines quit on the trip back to the harbor, and only one person, when the boat was being rocked with wave after wave and nearly overturning, bothered to put on a life jacket. The end result was a disaster of gigantic proportion for a little community like East Hampton to even comprehend. Anyone who understands the history of the East End knows that the residents have not been immune to the losses that come with living off the sea. A look at the old church records list deaths and births and over and over are the words "lost at sea" beside a name. So we are a maritime community who knows the dangers associated with a livelihood made on the ocean. But this - this was a tragedy beyond even local comprehension.

The Pelican rolled over within sight of the Montauk Lighthouse. Only 19 of the over 60 passengers survived. The book, "Dark Noon" should be required reading for every high school class that graduates from our local schools. Its a wonderful study in the dangers associated with life on an island and we all need to both appreciate and respect what our fellow citizens deal with on a daily basis. As a community we are unique but as humans we are all the same. And we are tied together by slender threads, meaning when one falls we are all pulled by the tension.

Shrinkage

2011-11-08T04:56:00.015-05:00

I've been trying to solve a mystery at my house that's totally vexing me. What does my closet do to my clothes to make them shrink? I put them away in the Spring one size and they come out in the fall another one - smaller, of course. How does that happen?

I'm considering the idea that my house is host to ghosts or spirits who may be trying to make me crazy. Any house of a certain age surely had people die in it since up until the 1940s almost everyone died at home, not in the hospital. I know for a fact that at least two of my relatives died of old age in the same bedroom upstairs. But they should be friendly spirits, right? After all, I'm family and I grew up right next door so they knew me and I would assume aren't unhappy to have us in their space! Yet every fall the same phenomenon happens. I take out my clothes and they're tight. It's a real puzzle, isn't it?

Well, back to Weight Watchers I go, preparing to take off some weight to get into these much smaller clothes that I need to wear. Without all the potato salad, corn-on-the-cob, and baked beans, it shouldn't be difficult to shave off a few pounds. Maybe next year I'll store my clothes in the attic and see if that makes a difference....

Autumn fishing

2011-11-07T05:07:00.027-05:00

I have friends and family members who love fishing off the beaches in the fall. The big fish are running and a trip to any of the local oceanfronts will find at least one pick-up truck following the gulls as they work off shore, following a traveling school of bass or blues as it moves along the coast. I love to see it and always enjoy taking a few minutes to watch when I see someone in their waders, especially if they're in the process of landing in a nice keeper.

Fishing is a sport I've never particularly enjoyed. I don't like the slimy, smelly fish very much and since I don't eat them, there's no real joy in the whole thing. Ever since I got a fish bone stuck in my throat when I was about ten, I've avoided fish like brussel sprouts. It's a phobia I can't shake, despite the fact that I actually like the taste of some things, like flounder. You'll never see me ordering seafood at any restaurant, no matter how famous they are for preparing it.

But - I love watching others fish, especially along the shore. It seems to me to be one of the most basic of human processes, catching the food to put on the table. And doing it without the aid of a boat is the best because it hearkens back to a time when everyone did it as a matter of survival.

Whether a participant or not, the fish are running now and the people who love the sport are in their glory. It's one of the best things about life on the East End.