Friday, August 11, 2017

Lessons

In attended a very intense workshop recently that dealt with a lot of introspection and self-analysis. I learned skills to help me figure out why I do and say the things I do, and how to correct behaviors that aren't healthy or productive. It's been a tough time since then as I over-think everything I say and try to adapt things I do. I'm not sure I'm young enough to still make myself a better person! LOL

Honestly I'm open to improvement. I was told at a pretty early age that I wasn't perfect so I've never had an over-
inflated opinion of myself. And I've always looked for ways to be a better person, both through spiritual work and simply by listening to others criticisms or suggestions. So its not completely new to me to work on myself. But this work is more intense and pointed than any more casual work I've done and I must say its hard. When you already have low self-esteem, it takes you even lower. Seeing yourself as others see you is very humbling. But humility is a good thing so I say bring it on.

I think this past year has been one of real destruction in terms of my sense of worth and I'm hoping that by improving myself I can begin to feel better about who I am and how I live my life. I'm not sure, but I hope so anyway. Because if we ever stop learning, ever fail to want to better ourselves, I think we're in trouble. We may as well check out of life at that point. And I'm not quite ready for that yet. And so the new chapter begins...

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