Sunday, December 11, 2016


Today is the annual "Lessons and Carols" service at my church and I always look forward to it. The entire service is scripture lessons and Christmas songs, arranged to tell the story of Christ from prophesies to birth, and I enjoy it every year. One of the best parts is getting to sing Christmas carols.

Christmas carols are most enjoyable because they're only used once a year. Other hymns become more common as we bring them out at any old time, but the carols are only used in December and January and I think because of they we anticipate them more. I have my favorites, of course, and some are not the most popular ones. I'm the same way with the more secular songs, like "The Little Drummer Boy" which I detest but most people love. My own favorites are dear to me for different reasons like childhood memories or school concerts.

I have no idea what we'll be singing this year in the service because for the first time in many years I'm not participating in the choir, which I'm sad about but it was my choice. I just haven't felt ready yet to return to all my pre-trauma activities, especially those that remind me of the sadness I'm still trying to come to grips with. It may be the holidays but some things remain in a state of unhappiness and thus the days are not always easy. But today, singing the Christmas carols, will hopefully remind me of happier times when I was a child, singing in the tiny little church I attended in Southampton for so many years, singing with my parents and siblings in the pew and learning how to harmonize.

I am learning to pull memories from long ago to get me through. And today will be one of those times.

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