Tuesday, December 20, 2016

All is calm

I think I've found a new sense of calm in my life, and I'm really enjoying the move to this new place.

For so many months now I've been in turmoil, emotionally up and down, knots in my stomach half of the time, and having no idea where my life is headed, which is fine when you're twenty but at my age its pretty unsettling after a lifetime of planning and trying to be prepared for the end and what it will being. So its been a really difficult year for me.

But I am feeling much more focused now. I feel as though I've gotten some pretty clear signals from the unknown areas of my life and I'm accepting the realization of what's to be. With the strong support of my family and friends I'm beginning to see the other side of this quagmire and truly feeling optimistic and looking forward to what's to come. It hasn't been easy.

I know there'll still be rocky days ahead and I know I'm not over my grieving process, but I also know the worst is over, hopefully. And that's a great feeling.

I also know I'm a strong woman and I will come out of this a stronger, smarter, more independent person than I've ever been. It's not the ending I would have chosen for my life, but the realization that what I thought I knew and what I depended on wasn't even real, has helped me come to this place. I'm hoping the final chapter of my life will be more about truth, and finding my authentic self, and that's something to look forward to.

This week, as we head into Christmas which is all about hope and peace, I think I'm really there.

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