Friday, October 7, 2016

z-z-z-z-z

Last night was one of those sleepless nights I've had way too many of lately.

This time it was a combination of things that contributed to my restlessness. Of course my recent life-trauma has led to many of those nights as I toss and turn, thinking about my past, present and future and wondering what's to come for me. There are none of the usual distractions in 1:00 in the morning and although I can always find something else to occupy my mind with during the daylight hours, it doesn't happen quite so easily then. I have more questions in my life than answers right now and my brain just doesn't deal well with things being out of balance,. I'm too much of a detail person for that. I like to know where I'm going and what the next day will hold. I barely know what the next hour will hold these days. And with everything in my life up to this point suddenly thrown into question, well its certainly fodder for a restless mind. Hence...troubled sleep.

The other reason is that I'm having a surgical procedure done today and that always makes me nervous and restless. It's nothing to worry about and its a routine procedure, but still. There's that pesky hospital part, and the anesthesia to worry about. It's never easy for anyone to find my veins so even an IV is cause for stress. I know all will be well and I'll be home later today comfy and cozy on my couch where I can recuperate for a few days, but still, my mind doesn't seem to understand that at all. It keeps ruminating about health care proxies, and needles, and transportation details. Ugh!

Well I'm thinking with some good pain killers tonight should be another story all together and perhaps I'll easily make up for my lack of shut eye. I'm feeling it right now, but soon enough it will come. And that's life in a nutshell, isn't it? Eventually,
we all sleep....

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