Yesterday I saw a post that someone had put on one of my recent blogs and I found it odd. It was anonymously posted, which was too bad, because I would love to have a real conversation with this person, whomever they are. You see they said that I needed to work on living a life with "no regrets".
It made me wonder how that's possible? I have absolutely no regrets about the life I have lived in terms of my integrity, honor, standards, etc. I regret nothing in terms of the things I've done and the way I've conducted myself. I have always had high standards for myself and I've held to them firmly.
But how do you not have regrets about dedicating so many years to a person who didn't deserve your dedication? How do you not regret giving yourself completely to someone who not only didn't value the gift, but basically spit on it? How do you not regret the fact that you could have spent so much of your energy over those years doing more for yourself and less for the person who didn't deserve it? And how do you not regret a pain that cripples you for months on end?
I did have wonderful things in my life - my children being at the top of the list. But that does not erase the regrets that come from making a bad choice that affected everything forever. And at the end of the day, I am still alone. Life does indeed throw us curve balls and that is to be expected, but when someone else's decisions effect you in such a tragic way, there has to be regret with that, doesn't there?
No, I don't agree with this person, but I wish I could ask them what they meant by their comments. I certainly don't regret my life. And I don't regret who I am now. But I would be lying if I said I don't regret the investment I made, which has bankrupt me completely. I worked my whole life toward a goal and now that goal is gone, with nothing but loneliness and pain in its place. Without the support of family and friends I can't imagine where I would be right now. How would it be possible not to regret that?
I really don't like anonymous comments. They leave me wondering who is thinking what and why do they not want to tell me who they are? I enjoy a good conversation with anyone over just about anything, but as soon as someone becomes anonymous, the conversation becomes pretty one-sided in my mind. So whomever you are, if you'd like to chat, I'm not hard to find. Give me a call and tell me, how would you respond to betrayal, after investing a lifetime in someone, with no regrets? I'd really, really like to know...