Monday, October 31, 2016

New beginnings... again

Again I feel myself making progress in this, my new life. It's funny how things seem to happen in bits and pieces, little spurts of growth and then long periods of stagnancy. But progress is to be celebrated and I am.

This one began Friday when a series of events spurred me on to realize that the future was not in what I was still holding on to, but was rather destined to be something new and different. The past is not to be. The future is what I need to embrace. I became enlightened to the fact that my holding on to the past was not something that was going to produce any results, simply because it was my desire alone. And my wishing or wanting something, even working toward something alone, just cannot make it happen. I cannot waste time any longer wishing for something that is not to be.

So by Saturday morning I'd begun to think in terms of a totally different future, and by this morning I feel as though I'm beginning to embrace it. I think there are good things ahead for me. And at the very least my future will be with people I can trust, and who return the blessing of love to me. I'm hopeful that its a future full of honesty and affection as opposed to the deceit and betrayal of my past.

I may not have as many years left on this earth as I want to, but those that are left are going to be real, not a fantasy. And I'm going to be in control of how they play out. I will no longer subjugate my own dreams and desires in favor of somebody else's, and from here on in, with my family and friends firmly in my corner to support me, and despite the inevitable slips and trips, I know I'm going to be making big progress.

This is a very good day.

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