Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Blogging

My blogging has been sporadic lately. Its seems to be much like a barometer, indicating the place my state of mind is at the moment. With the major changes in my life these past few months my emotional state is quite changeable and I can be much like a bi-polar person, swinging from the depths of depression one day to the top-of-the-mountain the next. I'm never sure exactly where I'll be because the slightest thing can send me spinning in one direction or another.

I long for stability in my life but I'm not sure I'm going to get it for awhile. Stability is one of those elusive things that come with "normalcy" and schedules, neither of which I have right now. I think I'm making progress....and then something unexpected happens and the progress goes out the window. But I know I'm resilient and I know I will eventually return to some kind of "normal". It may not be the one I'm longing for, but it will come one way or another. It has to, doesn't it?

Life does not always follow the path we had in mind for it and we are victims of so many things that can happen, many beyond our control. As a bit of a control freak, that's not easy for me to deal with. I like knowing what's going to happen every day and I enjoy being somewhat in charge of my life. That has all disappeared for me and that's hard to swallow. Thankfully I'm also the optimistic type and work at seeing the best side of everything. That hasn't been easy lately, but I'm working on it. I'm attempting to look at the good side of things, learning to enjoy my independence and being in charge of my future.

Well, the bottom line is I shall continue m,y quest to blog every day and use this space as my therapy when I need to. But when and if I'm not here, I think its safe to say there are reasons. And most anyone can probably guess what they are. I won't bother blogging when the top of the mountai
n seems far off because no one wants to hear whining and complaints. But when the mountain gets closer, I'll be back.

2 comments:

Ben Reichart said...

wishing you reach " the top of the mountain " every day. We can't control the past but can influence the future.

Wordsmith said...

Just know you're missed and prayed for when you aren't blogging!