Saturday, September 3, 2016

Independence

Its been a very long time since I lived alone.

When I was young I lived on my own for about 4 months in a small apartment. I remember enjoying the independence but I was rarely alone. I was working so I was out all day, and was already involved with my future husband so we spent most evenings together.

Now that I'm alone again its been a new experience for me. I'm learning to take care of a big house alone, for instance, taking care of all the little details that go with that, like taking garbage to the dump and making sure the outdoor shower is turned off for the winter. When there are two people doing things around a big house they tend to fall into roles and when one is gone that role needs to be filled. Remembering all the details is the trick. Generally speaking when you work as a team, what one doesn't remember the other does. So I'm having to really step up my game.

The other things that's hard to adjust to is the quiet. When you're used to always having someone else around, being alone is different. I'm beginning to enjoy certain aspects of that alone time as I rarely have the television on and have been doing a lot of reading. I'm rediscovering myself in a way, remembering the things I loved doing but either gave up or didn't have time for when I was half of a partnership. I'm realizing how many compromises we make when we live with another person. That's not a bad thing, but it is fun to rediscover my own joys and pleasures. Suddenly I have lots more room to spread out in and much more freedom to explore with.

In the beginning being alone is a bit overwhelming after such a long time without it. After all, I went from a family of six into another family of six so my life has been pretty much filled with people at all times. After all these years I'm pretty much used to sharing space. But finding a new independence is not quite as bad as I thought it would be and I think, just maybe, I'm going to enjoy it a whole lot eventually.

No comments: