As much as I love the fall, I don't think I anticipated how sad the gray days would make me. Yesterday I just moped around all day, getting the work done that I needed to do, but never feeling happy or content, slumping under the weight of the dark world outside.
Of course that's not a typical fall problem - dark, rainy days can happen at any time of the year. But there was something about the whole atmosphere that just about did me in. It was just not a great day mentally and I attribute it to the weather.
Of course I realize during times of grieving, which I totally am, that there will be good and bad days. And as the good ones begin to outweigh the bad ones its harder, I think, to regress. So maybe its just not easy to suddenly find yourself in that dump of a place in your head after climbing out for days at a time. But the rain, and the gray skies, did nothing to help, that's for sure!
I am looking forward to next week because it seems as though this one is going to be more gray than sunny. I'm planning a dinner party Saturday night just to make myself socialize and have a purpose. Its a small step, but important. There are some things I refuse to have taken from me. And joy is one of them.
So, as we progress through this gray, rainy, depressing week I am looking forward to fun and laughter at the end. Its the only way to fight back!