So I'm discovering many things in my new life alone. I'm finding an independence I didn't know I still had after all these years. I'm beginning to appreciate peace and alone time. I'm learning to do thing for myself, that I want to do and when I want to do them. And I'm learning that there are adventures out there I can still explore. I'm adjusting to life alone, just as everyone told me I would.
I would never have chosen this change in my life. I miss my old life and I hate that this happened to me. But I am in general a positive person and I'm not the type to sit around feeling sorry for myself. I have my moments, but I don't allow them to last. I pick myself up and move on, knowing that attitude is always half the battle. I've faced other challenges in my life and I've always managed to deal with them. I know I can do the same this time.
Lately I've been reading a lot. I always loved reading but found it difficult to do in a small house with no quiet space. But now, I find myself curling up on the couch with a good book and suddenly hours have passed. I started a new novel yesterday by Dan Brown and already I'm having a hard time stopping to go to bed at night. Its a pretty long book but I think I'll have it done in a week. I need to start looking at the NY
Times bestsellers lists again, something I haven't done in many years now.
I also started a project here at the house, prepping a room for painting and working toward some other home projects as well. With cooler months ahead its a good time to work on physical challenges. We did all the work on this house when we were younger, and as much as I've enjoyed being able to pay other people to do these manual jobs in more recent years, I can and will manage them myself. As much as I resent being put in this position at this point in my life, after working so long toward more comfortable and easier retirement years, I am capable and I will persevere.
I'm feeling pretty energized at the moment, reminded of my skills and abilities and working toward accentuating the positive, as the old song encourages us to do. Because I don't want to spend my final years being sad and living with regrets. Hopefully I'll be beyond the sadness soon. Because there's still a lot of living to do.