Monday, August 8, 2016

Morning

Today I'm remembering the scripture verse about weeping and sorrow lasting for the night but joy coming in the morning. I think its in Ephesians but I'm too lazy to go onto biblegateway.com and look it up!

Saturday was a hard day for me. I was lonely, sad, and generally thinking life was over for me. It was a day of grief and anger.

But then Saturday night I was able to get out of my funk, be with good friends at a party, enjoy the music and community that are so vital to life, and today I feel like a new person. Isn't it amazing what a difference a day can make?

As I sat in the tent Saturday night - and I do mean tent! It was the size of a circus tent with about 700 people in it - I looked around at all the people eating, dancing, laughing and enjoying themselves and I remembered what one of the wise counselors in my life told me only a week ago: with love always comes pain. And its true. But pain loses its grip eventually, let's us down slowly, and allows us to move on to new realities and better days. It may leave scar tissue, but it won't always be as sharply painful and debilitating as it was in the beginning. That thought made me smile and I knew I was looking forward to my life as it is now, or as it will be, whichever that may be. I don't know where I'll be next year, or next month even. But I know I'll be happier and more whole and feeling much more like the person I know is inside here. And I look forward to that.

Weeping and sorrow may indeed be part of my life for this time. It's part of the process, I know. But joy does truly come in the morning. And for that I'm very grateful.