I've always needed to keep myself busy, but never as much as I do now.
I remember back in the '60s asking what the term "rolling stone" meant, because of the band I suppose. I knew there had to be some meaning behind the term. My father related it to the saying "A rolling stone gathers no moss" and it made sense to me. I guess I've always wanted to make sure I don't gather any moss because I've always been a person who wants to work, be busy, be productive, achieve things. When I was home with my kids we spend a lot of time doing crafts and reading books because it was as much for my enjoyment as theirs.
Sometimes people say to me "I don't know how you do everything that you do" but I always smile and shrug my shoulders. The truth is I like being busy. It's not altruistic or self-sacrificing, its fulfilling for me. I can enjoy reading a good book and taking time to rest and relax, but its not what I want to do all the time. In fact, a fun vacation for me would never be sitting on a beach all day. I prefer sight-seeing, exploring, moving all the time. I could sit for hours in a train if I had scenery to study, but being in a plane with nothing but clouds to look at is pretty boring to me.
So now, during this difficult time in my life, I find that being "busy" is more important than ever. I need to keep myself occupied lest I dwell on things I don't want to. I work at always having a focus and never letting that proverbial moss grow between my toes. Being idle is not the best thing right now. And the times when I am are neither healthy nor happy ones.
So here we are on a Tuesday morning and I'm heading to the hospital to volunteer. It will keep me busy for hours and that's the perfect antidote for what ails me. Nothing better indeed.