Thursday, July 7, 2016

Upside down

There are certain things that happen in our lives that simply turn them upside down. Many are happy events, like marriage, childbirth, new job, etc. Some, like death, divorce, relocation, career change, are not so pleasant.

I've been experiencing the latter in my own life, so I feel as though I've lost my emotional compass. I have alway been a person of schedules and lists, habits and regularity. I eat the same thing for breakfast every morning, at the same time, in the same place for instance. I live by my calendar. I love life that's planned out and thought through. So being in this particular place is unsettling to say the least. Suddenly at 11:00 in the morning I realize I haven't yet had anything to eat. At 4:00 in the afternoon I grab a banana and then don't think about food for another day. I forget to look at the calendar and have to fight to keep track of the things I need to do. My anchor has been dragging a little and the mooring feels unsecured.

I know that this too shall pass. I know my life will eventually return to what will be a new normal. But right now, I feel as though I'm in the twilight zone and I can't see the door to escape yet.

It's a very strange place to be.

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