Reflections

All the ceremonies and activities surrounding the 9-11 anniversary really made me do some reflection about life and death and that space between the time we're born and the time we die. Every generation has defining moments when in their youth they're shocked to discover that the world is not always a friendly place. For my parents it was Pearl Harbor. For mine it was the assassination of John F. Kennedy. For my children I imagine it will be 9-11. It's that point in time where we recognize that life can change in an instant and even being a good person doesn't make you safe from the dangers of the world.

For me and many other people, these lessons become even more acutely learned when we face impending death through some disease or accident or other life-changing event. For me, cancer has been a blessing because it has given me a renewed sense of the joy of life and a spectacular purpose to my days. I take none of them for granted, even the most mundane. I find pleasure in the smallest things and take nothing lightly. It's given me some intense living that only I - and others like me - really understand.

Here's the thing: I always thought that I lived my life with purpose and appreciation. I believed - and I tried - to live each day with meaning and to fully enjoy every one. But now that I've been to the brink I know I wasn't nearly as appreciative of if all as I should have been. And I honestly don't think anyone can be until they've been where I've been. I feel blessed to have learned this lesson and still be here to apply it. I try so hard to be a better person now and I start every day asking God what I'm meant to do with it.

My point is this: The innocent people who lost their lives on 9-11 never had the opportunity to look death in the face and then go on living. They weren't given the chance to change the way they lived, or live with renewed purpose and meaning. They were simply gone in an instant, as also happens to thousands of people every day in so many different ways. To me that's the biggest tragedy of 9-11.

I feel blessed to be here and to be experiencing life in a way I didn't know before. I wish everyone had the same chance at least once in their life. I don't like living with the cancer threat every day, but it was and is worth the price.