Missing piece

My mother was a wonderful woman and I loved her very much. However, in retrospect I think my love for her inhibited me from bonding with my mother-in-law as early as I wish I had all those years ago, because although she and my mother shared many great attributes, she was quite a different person in other ways and that put me off a bit at times. It shouldn't have - and it was totally my fault because I was young and stupid - but it did.

For instance: when my mother baked a cake, no one was allowed to touch it until dinner. There was no tasting allowed because it was "for dinner", or "for company" or whatever the reason was. When she presented a dessert it had to be perfect: whole and untouched. That was what I grew up with.

When we went to my in-law's for dinner early on in our marriage, I was startled when she brought a cake to the table for dessert that had a slice taken from it. Who would have eaten it, I wondered out loud, rather horrified that someone would defile her creation. "I did" she laughed, "I had to make sure it was good!" It seemed almost insulting to me and I wasn't quite sure what to make of this woman. It took me years to get over such ridiculous things. In retrospect I could have learned so much from her about letting my hair down and not taking life so seriously, and as I grew to love her I appreciated her attitude of celebration in every day.

So it was with a nod to my mother-in-law that I tried out a new recipe recently for chocolate chip bundt cake and promptly took a slice as soon as it came from the oven for "testing" purposes. She would have been pleased to have joined me! At the very least I hope she was smiling at me somewhere, realizing I had finally learned to embrace her zany sense of humor and appreciate her for the amazing person she was. And that cake, warm from the oven, was delicious!