It's been over two years since my mother died so I admit I was a bit taken aback when I was standing in line at CVS the other day and a 
woman standing next to me turned and said "I never got a chance to tell you how sorry I was about your mother - she was a wonderful woman". I was equally taken aback at how the tears welled up in my eyes. I would not have expected that because its been some time since I actually shed tears thinking about Mom. I guess because the woman took me by surprise - and the idea that this complete stranger would be compelled to tell me what a special person my mother was - the emotion jumped right to the surface. That and the fact that, because of my own circumstances this winter I've been thinking about Mom a lot myself. There's nothing like a crisis in our lives to make us miss our mothers!
One of the surprising things about the encounter was that this woman didn't look even vaguely familiar to me. I'm used to speaking with people in public places whose names I should know, with familair faces known to me from somewhere - but this lady was a complete stranger. That she thought enough of my mother to speak to me about her really touched me.
Since I was called back to the hospital for my second mammogram I've been keenly feeling my mother's absence. She would have been the one to help me keep things in perspective from the very beginning and her simple and strong faith would have held me up when my own faltered. Many times I've heard her speaking in my head, telling me to trust in God, to let things go, to not be afraid. Even without her being here, I feel her presence with me. But still...its not the same!
I thanked the stranger and said "I miss her very much" and she smiled at me and said "I still miss mine too". Judging from her age I would guess her mother has been gone far longer than mine. And when I think about my daughter-in-law, who is less than half my age and lost her dear mother this past year, I know I can't complain. But it points out to me the universal truth that our parents are forces in our lives, for good or bad, that never leave us. I still miss my mother very much but I wouldn't trade the pain of missing her for never having had her at all, which is the only alternative. And in so many ways I see her presence in my siblings, and my children, and yes, even in myself. And I find comfort in that.
woman standing next to me turned and said "I never got a chance to tell you how sorry I was about your mother - she was a wonderful woman". I was equally taken aback at how the tears welled up in my eyes. I would not have expected that because its been some time since I actually shed tears thinking about Mom. I guess because the woman took me by surprise - and the idea that this complete stranger would be compelled to tell me what a special person my mother was - the emotion jumped right to the surface. That and the fact that, because of my own circumstances this winter I've been thinking about Mom a lot myself. There's nothing like a crisis in our lives to make us miss our mothers!One of the surprising things about the encounter was that this woman didn't look even vaguely familiar to me. I'm used to speaking with people in public places whose names I should know, with familair faces known to me from somewhere - but this lady was a complete stranger. That she thought enough of my mother to speak to me about her really touched me.
Since I was called back to the hospital for my second mammogram I've been keenly feeling my mother's absence. She would have been the one to help me keep things in perspective from the very beginning and her simple and strong faith would have held me up when my own faltered. Many times I've heard her speaking in my head, telling me to trust in God, to let things go, to not be afraid. Even without her being here, I feel her presence with me. But still...its not the same!
I thanked the stranger and said "I miss her very much" and she smiled at me and said "I still miss mine too". Judging from her age I would guess her mother has been gone far longer than mine. And when I think about my daughter-in-law, who is less than half my age and lost her dear mother this past year, I know I can't complain. But it points out to me the universal truth that our parents are forces in our lives, for good or bad, that never leave us. I still miss my mother very much but I wouldn't trade the pain of missing her for never having had her at all, which is the only alternative. And in so many ways I see her presence in my siblings, and my children, and yes, even in myself. And I find comfort in that.
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