Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Ladies who lunch
I had lunch with a friend the other day and it reminded me of the way women connect with each other. Many jokes have been made about men and the fact that their "bonding" usually consists of football games and a beer, with the most personal thing they might discuss something along the lines of how much they had to pay for gas the last time they filled their cars. My impression is that they don't delve into each other's "feelings" or share the details of their personal lives too often. But, in general, women seem to be much more "relationship" oriented.
I find that women become intimate with one another pretty quickly. This friend was someone I see only a few times a year - she doesn't live in this area. We met through business and haven't known each other long so I really am not what I would consider a close friend. And yet I know all about her house, her family, her hometown, her career goals....the list goes on and on. It's amazing to me that we women feel so comfortable sharing personal details of our lives with each other - and are actually pretty confident in the confidentiality of our conversations. If a woman should prove herself to be unworthy of that trust she quickly becomes labeled a "gossip" and despite how much time we might spend with her, there are certain things we would never share. It's as though there are these unwritten rules that we learn from an early age - probably in Middle School! I don't know how it works with men but they seem to be set in their ways pretty early on as well. I think there must be genetic traits at work here. Any anthropologists out there that want to weigh in on this?
There is no question that men and women are very different in the way they interact with members of the same sex - as well as those of the opposite. I don't mind the difference - in fact I think it's great. It's what makes the world go 'round, as they say. But it's also the reason we don't understand each other real well a good deal of the time.
And I find it all fascinating.