Monday, September 22, 2014


Last Saturday I was reminded of the fact that my mother mentioned to me once in her later years that Saturdays were her "worst days". Once I knew that I made an effort to spend some time with her on Saturdays, especially as the afternoons stretched into evening and I knew she was alone.

My mother was a busy person. She had many things in her life to keep her busy, and she did not have a whole lot of what we call "down time". But Saturdays were most often days when she had nothing on her calendar, and those were times she felt the loneliness of and elderly person who has lost a long-time spouse. It s a difficult transition in life - I don't think she ever got used to that.

I understand it. Last Saturday we worked together in the morning doing things around the house. Even though we were often working on our own, we were never alone. But he went out on a boating adventure just after noon an
d I was alone for he afternoon. I confess to feeling a little lonely.

Funny how we only really appreciate our parents' lives when we reach the ages they were and experience the things they did. We suddenly realize how they felt, what their fears and aspirations may have been, and how life treated them in general.

More of that circle of life stuff....

Sunday, September 21, 2014


I love this time of year when summer days are waning and fall is at our doorstep. I love everything about it, from the weather to the color of the sky to the feeling in the air out here on the East End that we are at last in our element again, after the crazy months of summer when we rarely see a familiar face or get to chat leisurely on the street with someone we know. The frenetic weeks of August are behind us and before us are the glorious holidays.

As we say goodbye to summer I do so knowing it is another year past for me as I also look toward the end of my life. I hope to be here another twenty years or so but I know there are no time lines set before us and once we reach a certain point there is unknown territory ahead. I am prepared for that and I know its true, but there is a sadness as each season leaves simply because it marks the passing of time. Time seems so much more precious as we have less and less of it.

These final days of warm weather remind us that winter is coming. I don't find that sad, but a little melancholy. Simply because each day is a gift and eventually the gifts stop coming. So I've learned to savor each one as it comes. And not waste a single moment of any of them. Rushing headlong into autumn means there is so much to enjoy, and I intend to do just that.

Saturday, September 20, 2014


Tomorrow we are attending the baptism of our niece's little girl. I talk a lot about "the circle of life" these days and I hate to sound like an advertisement for "The Lion King" but I think there's good reason for that song to bring tears to the eyes of so many folks when its done on the stage in New York City. The reason is because of the truth of it all and the fact that we see in our own lives how that circle does indeed exist. It is one of the most amazing thing about life.

Now that we are in the most senior generation in our family, with all our parents gone, it becomes more and more apparent that the circle is what affirms us and strengthens us as we witness the future and see what is to come. I've often wished I could visit my great and great-great grandparents to see what their lives were like and also talk to them about their hopes and dreams. I think that is part of the fascination I have with ancestry and generations past. Could they ever imagine my life? I doubt it.

But then again, I can see a glimpse of my descendants now as I sit in a pew and watch my niece's baby baptized, or go to a school function and see my grandchildren perform. It truly is a circle, this life of ours. And a blessing in both directions.

Friday, September 19, 2014


We are thinking about putting an irrigation system at our house. This is big.

For many years my parents, who lived right next door to us, had a sprinkler system in their yard. Their lawn was always lush and beautiful and my father loved to make comments about our browning grass as the temperate days of June became the hot days of August. When we planted a new bush or tree we had to lug the hose out to water every day, hoping to give it the right start.

Recently we've been trying to create more landscaping as the property next door is going to be developed and we are looking at years of construction noise and visual pollution to come. We hope that we can build up a nice green barrier to all that stuff and I once again was told by a landscaper "You know, you really need irrigation here". She is right, of course. It would make our lives simpler and certainly assist with the job of getting plants established.

So, we actually got a price from someone this week to install irrigation. And it looks like we may very well be moving in that direction.

If only my father could see this....

Thursday, September 18, 2014

More mornings

Tuesday mornings I drive to Southampton every week to volunteer at the hospital and I enjoy watching the seasons change on those morning dries. Because I lea the house at 7am I go from the bright sunshine in August to the dark of January through the year, and this past Tuesday I noticed how pretty the light was as we move through this transitional time.

The sun comes up behind me as I drive west, and I could see it's reflection in the back of the car in front of me. The light was beautiful as it was filtered through the trees, fully illuminating everything in front of me but leaving things in shadow behind me. The colors are different early in the day - and everything looks fresh ad clean.

I know in only a few short months I'll be making the trip in the dark on Tuesday mornings But right now I am enjoying the beautiful light and as I drive myself down Montauk Highway I just enjoy the trip. And that's what life is all about, isn't it?

Wednesday, September 17, 2014


I finally found someone to walk with again and we've been leaving about 6am for an hour walk o the days we are both available And once again I am enjoying the early morning beauty around us.

This morning we probably a dozen deer, some very young ones. As the sun came up we saw the tops of the trees and the shaft of light beaming through branches and leaves on the eastern side. Heading down Pondview Lane we could sell the pond as we reached the Egypt Lane end, and enjoyed using the roads with little interruption from passing cars. It truly is one of the best times of the day.

I look forward to the cooler days to come, to peeling off layers as we walk and watching the leave change with the season. I do love the fall, and walking in the early morning is the perfect way to enjoy it.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014


Our twin granddaughters turned two this past weekend and it give me the opportunity to again wax on about my love of two-year-olds. There is something magical about the years between two and five, when the world is one big mystery for discovering, and brains are just waiting to soak up everything they can see, smell, taste, experience around them. It's a wonderful time in life!

I wish I could remember anything from those ages, but I can't. I can however observe and after four children. lots of nieces and nephews, and now ten grandchildren, I still am in love with this age of discovery. I love hearing them use new words, and I love seeing the magical look on their faces when they suddenly figure something out for the first time. There is wonder in their eyes and curiosity in their heads as they literally careen around the world, feet often moving faster than the rest of their bodies can keep up with. They find joy in the smallest things, and comfort in strong arms and hugs. They still love to cuddle on your lap and read a story, but are happy to run away when the spirit moves them. Like I said, a magical time.

After these girls move beyond these wonderful few years we'll have only one more grandchild to experience it with, we think. Of course that could change! But if not we have been able to once again observe one of God's miracles from front row seats, and for that I'm very grateful.