Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Finally fall

I feel as though fall has finally arrived here on the east end and I'm so glad! I am sleeping better and enjoying the cool, crisp autumnal weather that is here at last.

There is a real difference in the color of the sky in autumn. It probably has to do with the angle of the light as the sun moves into position for the new season. It illuminates my living room in the late afternoon, dappled shadows falling on the furniture and carpeting. There's an orange haze that settles in as the sun drops below the tree line and colors the horizon.

It's a season of change - more so than the others. Winter to spring and summer to autumn are transitions that change the landscape, the atmosphere, and the colors everywhere. Big changes are coming in the next weeks - leaves changing colors, then falling to the ground revealing bare branches and skeletal forms and opening up our views where they were once obscured.

So we are in transition and life is moving forward, month to month, year to year. And the world is changing before our eyes.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


When I went through chemotherapy five years ago I lost all my hair - ALL of it - and thankfully most all of it grew back. All with the exception of my eyebrows. Which leads to some interesting situations.

Every morning I use a water proof make up to draw in some eyebrows. It's amazing what a difference eyebrows make on a person's face! When I wake up in the morning and they are not there, my face has very little expression. Eyebrows really do convey so much in the way of our facial expressions and without them we look very different. Fortunately most people will never have to experience that for themselves, but I have. So I faithfully put them on every day.

I resist the use of eyebrow pencils because I've seen too many people who us them and look it. I prefer this other make up because I think it looks more realistic. I apply it with a brush and try to do t with strokes to duplicate the look of individual hairs as opposed to a solid line. Some days I do a better job than others. But here's the funny thing: if I sweat a lot it will come off. So the summer means constantly checking to see if my eyebrows are still in tact.

The other day I as working around the house and managed to perspire enough to completely obliterate one of my eyebrows. Without realizing it I then went to a meeting. It was only hours later when I happened to look in the mirror that I realized I had only one eyebrow. I can only imagine how strange that looked to all the other people at the meeting. I'm still shaking my head over it.....

Monday, October 20, 2014


I'm having a hard time figuring out the panic that seems to be so pervasive right now over the ebola outbreak.

Listen I'm as worried as the next person about a serious epidemic in this country and being part of the EMS system make me think about it - a lot.  But when I see people on Facebook wondering if they should get on a plane for their vacation, or plan a cruise for the winter, I kind of shake my head. I mean, at this point, with three confirmed cases in Texas, thousands of miles away from here, I think our chances of getting hit by lightening are much higher than catching ebola. And despite the fact that planes crash and cruise ships occasionally sink, it doesn't seem to bother people enough to keep them at home. So where is the logic in this?

I think it goes back to our basic fear of things that we learned about when we were growing up. hings like bubonic plague, the black death, or even more recently, polio. Those are horror stories from our history and I think we all fear such a thing happening in our time.

But reality needs to get a hold here. Until tings get much much worse, we need to all chill a little.

Sunday, October 19, 2014


I think the relationship with one's doctor is unique and weird.

There is a certain decorum that goes along with a patient/doctor relationship. We aren't supposed to be overly familiar to maintain our professional veneer. Yet we are more intimate with them than with almost anyone else in our lives. We are totally at their mercy, and yet we pay them well to be so. I mean, it is totally bizarre if you think about it, right?

I have more doctors now than I ever thought I would. I have surgeons and oncologists, podiatrists, and dermatologists. I have to keep the all straight and see them regularly and I love the for taking are of me and I hate the for having to. Like I said - a very strange relationship.

And this week coming up I have two appointments. What it is we say about youth being wasted on the wrong people? I never appreciated back then how nice it was not to see a doctor for years at a time....

Saturday, October 18, 2014


Some things really make me feel my age.

Last night we wanted to go listen to a band play at a local club because I'm on a committee looking for a live band for our annual dinner. So when we saw that this one we were considering would be playing locally it seemed like a good idea to go hear them. Until...

We discovered that they would begin playing at 10:00. P.M. That's 10:00 pm.

Now I an stay up late at night and occasionally I do - like when we go to dinner at a friend's house, or go to a special event in the evening. But this is a little different because we are not bar people and hanging out in a bar for hours would not be fun for us. We aren't big drinkers. So that meant we needed to hang around our house until time to go see the band perform.

How do you do that without falling asleep? We managed to do it, and neither of us took a nap, but its wasn't easy. I had to get up ever so often and take a walk and keep myself alert enough to actually be able to go to a club.

I know there is a whole generation out there that never goes to bed before midnight. But that's not mine.  At my age I know better...

Friday, October 17, 2014

Color color color

Autumn is in full swing now and there is color everywhere. I love it.

My favorite sights are the trees that are only partially changed over. Some have tips that are bright orange or they are half yellow or red - maybe it has to do with the way the sunlight hits them, I don't know. But it is striking. My drive to work down Route 114 is beautiful right now and the next few weeks promise to be stunning. I love the colors of the fall.

Interestingly some trees are still nice and green while others are already dropping their leaves. It's been an odd season with some hot days still appearing here and there, and perhaps that's contributing to the odd way its all progressing. It seems to me that usually everything happens at once, with a blaze of color around every corner. Right now its hit or miss. Maybe its still to come, I'm not sure, but I'm waiting for the full effect.

Autumn is fleeting and this beauty won't last long. But I'm loving every minute of it while its here.

Thursday, October 16, 2014


I can't remember a time when I wasn't working. I mean, making money at something.

I got my first job when I was 14 at a local clothing store. I walked to work every day all summer and learned so much that year, especially the fact that making money gives you a sense of self-esteem that cannot be earned any other way.

I worked every summer until I left school and the I got a full time job that lasted until I had my first baby when I decided not to work full time. Even in those years when I was an "at home mom" I was always working part time at something. I made desserts for a caterer, I did free lance art work, I did bookkeeping at a local business, and I did my best to contribute to the household expenses until my kids ere all in school at which point I went back to part time work at various places, which I'm still doing.

The fact of the matter is I feel better when I'm bringing home a paycheck. I feel at though I'm participating in the household and in some way helping out. If I ever had to support myself completely though, I would be in trouble.

But today I am going to work. I'm going to earn some money and I'm going to feel as though I contribute to society in some small way. Very small. But its something. At least for my mental state.