Friday, April 24, 2015

Little league

Last night was our first Little League game with the grandsons. And it was freezing there.

I used to think sitting through my son's games was one of the things we did as parents to support our children and make them know they were loved and important. And I endured the freezing cold, windy baseball fields, thinking in a few years my job would be over and they would be grown and gone. What I didn't think about was the possibility that some day I would be lucky enough to have grandsons who were living here, and there would be more little boys looking into the stands and smiling when they see me watching.  

Somehow those faces make the cold less horrific.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

My mother's hands

Lately, when I look down at my hands, I see my mother's hands.

Of course as we age we all see our parents, right? In our faces, in the way we walk or talk, in our body types. But there is something especially touching about recognizing my mother's hands. Because when I do it immediately brings back some wonderful memories.

I think about her hands as they held her Bible early every morning when she spent time reading it and praying for her family, friends, church, town, country-so many things on her list! I remember her putting her black gloves on right before she walked out the door in the winter. I think about the way she applied hand cream every time she finished washing up in the kitchen after dinner. And I remember those hands applying her lipstick in front of her mirror after dressing for an evening out.

She had soft, well-manicured, but not pampered hands. They worked hard. But she took care of them. And I try to do the same. And when I glance at my hands, or watch them carefully to make sure I'm getting the hand cream worked into every spot, it makes me smile. I guess that's what they mean when they say your parents are always with you.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


Yesterday started out as a dreary, wet day, but turned out beautifully.

It was what I would call a "breakthrough" day as it begins one way but after the breakthrough ends in a completely different one. I drove to Southampton at 7am in fog and rain. It was damp and gray, with a few rumbles of thunder thrown in for effect. When I drove from Southampton to Sag Harbor a few hours later the rain had stopped and it was clear that the sun was attempting a comeback. By early afternoon it was beautiful day-sunny, warm, and boasting blue skies and green grass as only the spring can. It was lovely.

Spring presents us with days like this - contradictory and unpredictable. Fog is a constant as the air and ground meet with divergent temperatures. Mornings are chilly, afternoons warm. Who was it that said "if you don't like the weather, just wait-it will change"? Well whomever it was just might have spent sometime on the East End of Long Island. Because we know it well.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Hook Pond

One of my favorite scenic views in all of East Hampton is very close to home for me. All I need do to see it is turn left out of my driveway and head south about a mile. Once on to Highway Behind the Pond it doesn't take long to reach the spot where the road passes an entrance directly on to the pond. The road turns sharply to the left here, but the pond in just there on the right, with easy access for ice skating in the winter.

This is my favorite spot. Looking across the pond are some of the most stately homes in the village. On a good day, there might be swans on the pond, and there may be a few golfers walking in the distance. But mostly it's a view of the pond, with all that's included in that, like reeds and phragmites all around the shoreline, and ducks, swans, whatever wildlife is present at the moment, enjoying the scene as much as I. When the sky is a gorgeous blue, with a sprinkling of clouds as white as snow, and the grasses surrounding Hook are bright, healthy green....well....there's nothing prettier anywhere.

I don't know why that scene came to mind this morning, but I suddenly feel the need to go visit it. And lucky for me, it's easy to do.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Baby days

Monday's are busy days for me. I take care of four of my grandchildren who range from 1 to 5 years old, and I'm pretty tired by the end of the day. It's a day I look forward to, and yet I need to brace myself for it.

Today was rainy all day which means the house was dark. The screens were put on the large front windows just last week, which also cuts down on the light coming in, so today, with the dark skies and damp air, was chilly and dreary. The grass is beginning to green up though, and spring is making itself known. It's a welcome sight.

Having the kids here brightened an otherwise dull day, and it was nice not to have a reason not to venture out into the weather.

Mondays are baby days. At the end of this particular one I'm tired. But also counting my blessings.

Sunday, April 19, 2015


Today we head east back to Bonac. We came down to southern Pennsylvania late Friday to watch our grandchildren performing in the show "Annie" and now we need to hustle back to East Hampton to get ready for the week. Tomorrow is a babysitting day for me and office day for my spouse. And thus begins an
other long week ahead for both of us. In fact the next month is going to be an incredibly busy one for us. Lots of good stuff, with "lots" being the operative word there.

I cannot resent the busy times because I'm grateful to have them. I never forget how close I came to not being here and I'm grateful for the chances I have to experience the world. But fatigue does set in and my age reveals itself to me more often now than it did a few short years ago. New aches and pains appear on a daily basis and I know my physical being is not what it used to be.

I treasured this short visit to my daughter's and love being with her family. I also love being in my own home, my own bed, surrounded by my own beloved things. Not to mention the people I love in East Hampton. There is a constant pull when one or more of your loved ones live away.

Always it's sad to say goodbye and always it's blessed to say hello. The nature of life.

Saturday, April 18, 2015


Today I'm feeling incredibly blessed to be here. It's been 6 1/2 years since my  cancer diagnosis and today I am able to see two of my grandchildren in theater productions. A third I will see in a dance recital next week.  These are the things that make life special and I don't take any of it for granted.

As I sat watching my 8-year-old granddaughter sing "Tomorrow" at the top of her lungs, I couldn't help but shed a few tears of joy, tempered by sorrow knowing that my dearest friend in the world will be missing these special moments in her grandchildren's lives. It's been one year since she lost her battle with the same disease and I'm not sure why I'm still here and she isn't, but I promise never to be blasé about it and to always say a prayer of thanks that I have been so blessed.

Every day is a gift. Every day is a gift. Every day.....a gift.....I will never forget that.